of tracing paper and crayola pens

Making Sense of Things We See In Gift Shops

2008-05-14T16:36:00.002+08:00

Finding Life Somewhere Else

Time for a change. This was good while it lasted, but it's time to move on.

2008-05-13T10:24:00.004+08:00

there's absolutely everything and absolutely nothing going through my head at this point in time.
let's go away and having absolutely nothing on our minds, shall we?

edit! - 10.11pm.
i've just bought three books!
1. seven types of ambiguity by elliot perlman - i know, slow. but i've been hearing good things about the book, so it can't hurt to give it a read.
2. then we came to the end by joshua ferris - a random pick, seems like a light read, which is kind of what i was going for initially: something modern, close to life and possibly tongue-in-cheek.
3. atonement by ian mcewan - i never caught the movie, so i decided to buy the book. the novels are always better than the films ANYWAY. i'll watch the movie after, and see if my impression matches close to the movie.

the battle against a rusting, dying, dimming mind begins henceforth. (albeit armed with only leisure reads that aren't exactly mind-sharpening materials, as compared to other reads relating to the pertinent, pressing issues of today's world. oh well, we have to learn to walk before we learn to run, don't we?)

2008-05-12T00:05:00.002+08:00

Is this simply the unique perversity of the human heart that wants (and wants and wants) what it doesn't have -- Italian food in Paris, American jazz in Saint-Germain -- and, only when it is about to lose it, returns to the things that drew it to the desire in the first place? Or was there a kind of peace in it too? Loss, like distance, gives permission for romance. In a better-ordered Verona, Romeo and Juliet would have grown up to be just another couple at dinner.
Adam Gopnik, Paris to the Moon.

this perversity, i say, results to taking what you already have, for granted.
we all ought to be shot in the head, really.
our sad, wandering minds are always searching for something (we think is) better, something of which existence we can barely grasp, based solely on a silly whim or notion that it may actually even be there, when we get there.

how silly we are!

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!
i had a good day.
albeit a slightly chaotic and impromptu one.
good day. cute baby cousins. chaotic restaurants. friendly chats with relatives and cousins.
good day, yes, good day.

yea, i'm bored.
very bored.
maybe i should work somewhere soon. i wanna work somewhere full of people, somewhere where everyone's at their worst and ugliest. from what i hear, it's not hard to find places like these. i think i need to snap out of my naivety, and from the stories i hear, working really helps.
yea, wake up, time for me to wake up.

2008-05-09T00:16:00.004+08:00

hello love, i think i've just exhaled.
i'm no longer waiting, i've decided there isn't any waiting to be done in this. it was in my mind, some preconceived notion that i had to wait for something to happen, before i could breathe.
nothing will happen, nothing shall. but at the same time, everything will, in due's course. they won't be momentous events, there won't be signs that'd say "please exhale, life begins now". they're just gonna happen. no flashing billboards, no celebrations (or mourning, for that matter).
life's too short to be spent waiting for milestones and landmarks, so there.
but then again, it may just be that the only reason why i felt that way was because i cared. well so now, i don't anymore.
i'm not (consciously) waiting for replies from universities, i'm not worrying what'll happen, not anymore.
when it comes, there's no stopping it. it comes in your face, like a yellow school bus with its brakes removed. take whatever comes, and suck it up.

2008-05-06T13:08:00.003+08:00

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAA.
i know this isn't new, i've seen it a couple of times myself. its just that every SINGLE time i see this, it's like i'm seeing it for the first time. i can't help but laugh.
HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA.
omg little boy i love your look of absolute, unadulterated determination.
oh and i love colouring too. remember to colour within the lines okay, i used to have problems doing that.
HAHAHAHHAHAHAA.
i wonder how old he is now. with an attitude like that, i'm sure he's someone big. or at least will be, fo'sure.
and not that i'm suggesting anything, nope, really not suggesting anything at all, but, BUT, doesn't he look a little, JUST A LITTLE, like ocoughbama?
(:
don't judge, it's just self-entertainment.

two nights ago i was just laying in bed with my glasses on, mp3 blasting and book laying flat beside me.
i was so confident i wasn't going to fall asleep. i was SO SURE i'd clean my thoughts for the day up and get up to switch the lights off before going to sleep.
but i thought wrong.
i fell asleep with my head suspended in mid-air cus i propped my bolster on my pillow, my mp3 blasting, and still wearing my glasses.
WOW, good job, good job.
i slept like that the entire night. (except that my mp3 stopped blasting, cus it ran out of songs to blast) and the product was a (very) sore neck, strange dreams and a very SCREWED UP pair of glasses.
they're so screwed up and twisted that now when i wear them, i get dizzy.
there's something wrong with the shape of it, i think.
it slides off my face, just like that.

therefore, i'm dizzy now.
goodbye

Banksy Exhibit

2008-05-05T13:21:00.002+08:00

please click to view a larger image!
all these can be found in an abandoned tunnel in the UK.
if i had the means, i'd like to fly there right now. i'd like to spend a week in london, doing nothing but soaking up london. yes i miss the uk so very much. it's a permanent withdrawal kind of thing, which started the day we got onto that return flight from heathrow back in june 2006.
really, the UK's one of my personal favourite travel destinations of all time. i mean, how can you not love visiting a place like this? the culture, the life, the spunk. it's such an old, old country, but its energy outlives far younger nations like ours.
i remember posting pictures of a similar exhibit quite some time back (maybe during the prelims-alevels period), except those pieces took up pavements.
pavement or tunnel, i love the exhibition.
and i heard that the singapore biennale will be no more after this year. bummer. ):

FOR ZHAOEY.

2008-05-04T15:21:00.000+08:00

:D
you know i still love you.

2008-05-02T12:27:00.001+08:00

"Let's stand under a tree," she said.
"Why?"
"Because it's nicer."
"Maybe you should sit on a chair, and I'll stand above you, like they always do with husbands and wives."
"That's stupid."
"Why is it stupid?"
"Because we're not married."
"Should we hold hands?"
"We can't."
"But why?"
"Because, people will know."
"Know what?"
"About us."
"So what if they know?"
"It's better when it's a secret."
"Why?"
"So no one can take it from us."

- The History of Love, Nicole Krauss.

2008-04-30T14:01:00.006+08:00

"The most important things are the hardest things to say.They are the things you get ashamed of , because words diminish them–words shrink things that seemed limitless when they were in your head to no more than living size when they're brought out. But it's more than that, isn't it? The most important things lie to close to wherever your secret heart is buried, like landmarks to a treasure your enemies would love to steal away.And you may make revelations that cost you dearly only to have people look at you in a funny way, not understanding what you've said at all, or why you thought it was so important that you almost cried while you were saying it.That's the worst, I think. When the secret stays locked within not for want of a teller but for want of an understanding ear."
The Body, (Different Seasons) Stephen King

my sentiments exactly, mr. stephen king! HAHAHA.
credits to pei for the site! it's been keeping me occupied the entire day today. (:
oh and it rained today! thank you rain!

i've decided that i would like, very much, to marry a writer.
i've resigned to the fact that i am almost always entirely conversationally impaired when it comes to things that really matter to me, so i would like that my husband and i may communicate our (otherwise conversationally uncommunicable)thoughts through writing.
that'd really be swell.
also, it would be good if my future writer of a husband wasn't one of them flighty writer types with commitment issues. it really would be having the best of both worlds! a sensitive, expressive guy who has the necessary sensibility and stability to fulfill practical needs without compromising the small, and better things in life.
HA, HA.
don't we always want what we can't have?

i was just picking something up, and this kink appeared in my back muscle. there was this nagging strain from my lower back along my sides all the way to my shoulders. i tried various stretches, dance stretches, yoga stretches, but to no avail.
unhappy with the results, i sat at my desk trying continuously to untangle my muscles. arm stretches, back twists, blah.
UNTIL.
i sneezed.
and suddenly, muscle kink no more!
hahaahhaha.
all it takes is a sneeze.

2008-04-27T23:20:00.002+08:00

you know what made my day today?

1. the knowledge that i've done EVERYTHING i can possibly do at this point in time in terms of deciding my future.

2. hanging out with wonderful people, doing absolutely everything and nothing at the same time, remembering how to get that crazy-happy side of me back and basically being so comfortable i felt like i was back in my vj uniform, walking about doing and saying things without any thought.

3. remembering our run-in with the undecidedly male/female mannequin at warehouse after prelims/alevels (i'm a little mixed up). thinking about it makes me laugh already. hahahaha. i can't get over it yet.

(:
i'm happy.
and sleepy, very.

2008-04-26T10:15:00.003+08:00

wow, somehow things came into perspective last night and i realised one (and probably a few more) sentences will suffice in unraveling/solving/settling everything.

family's always good ((:

so they came back yesterday and being the airpot-addict, i bus-ed down all the way to the airport only to cab right back with my parents. HAHAHA. but my momma and poppa were happy to see me there and i was happy to see them so yay! apparently the air stewardess told them they had landed in terminal 2, when they were really in terminal 3. hahaha and my mom being as blur as ever, believed her and panicked when i told her in was in terminal 3 (as if that was a big deal, there's the sky train, ma) and that their flight was registered under that terminal. i mean, in the first place, you'd realise that the decor in terminal 3 is really pretty different from that of terminal 2, no? HAHA. blur as hell. i'm her daughter for a reason.

so yesterday after my interview (omg.i have to say, i LOVE the campus), the mother picked me up and we headed down to town to get stuff to restock our fridge (and her entire makeup bag. cus being blur, she LOST 1. her NEW cellphone 2. her sunglasses 3. her makeup bag - which was quite a substantial one with all them weird brushes and blah - in shanghai over a 3 week period.) and pick my dad up from work. it's days like these i'm most happy. hahaha. how sad right, to be satisfied just like that. but really! it does make me happy. i love picking my dad up from work, i love roaming about town doing nothing with my mom like we live there or smth. after which, we came home and decided a trip to lagoon was in order, so to lagoon we went! twas good, but i felt a little smelly after. oh and since zhaoey was working at mana i went to pay her a visit. hahahhaa. yes i had quite a wonderful day yesterday!

well so NOW i shall talk about the interview cus i'm kinda sick of repeating it over the phone/text messages repeatedly.
i'm not gonna be explicit about which course i applied for, unless i do get it. some people know, some people don't. for those who don't, maybe it's obvious to you. but whatever it is, i'm not gonna spell it out.
this is for the benefit for people dying to find out for whatever reasons. please do not call/text asking me about it okay? i'm really seriously lazy to talk about it. basically it came and went, it wasn't horrendous, neither was it excellent. it was just...like that, you know? when you go for it, you'll understand what i mean when i say it's just..like that. i'm not being deliberately ambiguous or anything. if you were to make me describe it in a word, i'd think "strange" would be the word i find most apt in this situation.
my advice is that there's nothing to worry about just talk, be yourself, keep your thoughts in check, and.. yea that's it. oh and also hope that that day's your lucky day, haha.
details go like this - they asked what my favourite subject was, which led onto talk about the media, which then led onto my perspective on the role of the western-chinese media in the china-tibet conflict.
and basically that's it.
happy? happy. (:
i'm sorry if i don't really wanna bother texting about this entire account, i'm sorry if i sound less than willing to review every detail over the phone, because honestly, if it's over, it's over. i'm happy not thinking about it, and i would really like to leave it as it is.
help me do that ok?it's not fun trying constantly digging into details and trying to analyse my own performance.
thank you. (:
if you're going for it, luck! (we really need it.)

steering-wheel happy!

2008-04-23T19:02:00.003+08:00

i just went for my first out-of-circuit driving lesson and like the previous auto lesson, it was AWWWEESOME.
i really do love driving, love love love it! HAHAHA.
i felt so..HAPPY!
hahahaha and i still feel HAPPY! i caaaaan't wait to GET MY LICENSE (oh please kallynn poon dont let yourself down and fail ftt/practical, please?)!
:D
when i first got into the car, i was a WEE bit scared, cus the instructor looked..i don't know, slightly questionable/suspicious/dubious. he had that whole balding-potbelly-nicotinestainedteeth- kinda look, you know? and he was like, "the first time driving out ah? sure you can drive anot. if cannot i'll shout at you one ah."
to which, i was like," erhh. i think can lah. but don't shout at me," followed with that fake laughter audrey and i were just talking about earlier on over lunch.
but it turned out he was just a nice, patient and misunderstood instructor that had a thing for mints.( throughout the 1 hour plus lesson, he finished an entire tube of halls strong mint.)
(((: i've been lucky. the manual instructors were rather moody when i had lessons. or maybe cus i kinda sucked at it. HAHAHAH. yay auto!

OH WELL.
it's kinda sad, cus driving seems to be the only thing that gets me excited and remotely happy-crazy nowadays. tsk tsk, i'm becoming a little too subdued. i hope when everything settles down a little bit more (and when i get to finally exhale), i'd get back to having fun and actually being some fun myself.

so, i just found out, another five years of china and work for my dad.
therefore, another five years of shuttling between us and him for my mum.
another five years of year end shanghai trips.
wow.
it's hard to imagine. i'd like to reckon it's gonna be a lot like the five years that just passed, but then i realised, life's not on replay. things are gonna change, people are gonna grow old, and i'm scared now. i'm not complaining, it's part of our lives we've accepted, but it's just scary, you know? i've always had the vague idea that he'd retire within the next few years. i never expected this to happen, i never thought another five years or more was in order.
hm.
by the time five years' up, i'd be 24 and ming 22.
wow.
hahaha.
another 5 more years after the next five years, ming would be getting married, if things go according to his plans.
hahaha. whereas, unlike my baby brother (who had his plans for marriage and children all well thought out by the time he was 9), i have no concrete plans as to when i'm gonna get hitched and have kids. i'll do it when the right one comes along, i don't care how old.

love, we're just waiting to exhale, together.

2008-04-21T18:31:00.010+08:00

i realised i've lost myself a little. and i guess getting lost is something we have to do alot in life. thing is, i hate, hate, hate, absolutely abhor this feeling you get. i'd like to think that before everything happened, i had myself in check - my feelings, my thoughts, my behaviour, my character - my life was all mine, basically. i was clear-headed, i had plans for myself in every aspect of my life, i knew what i wanted from my studies, my career, my relationships, my friendships. no one could change anything, everything i'd decided was a product of my life up till then. i was so sure how i wanted life to be played out for myself, but somehow, along the way, the plans got thrown overboard, and i got lost questioning what i thought i'd never change under any circumstance.
but i guess you get lost, just so you can get found right?

thing is, i am willing to give this life/feeling/situation a shot, but at the same time i can't hide all that apprehension. so shoot me for being so dichotomous.

i promise when i release that breath, i'll be less murder-worthy.
i promise i'll get myself found.

for the girl who's seen me through the worst, the best, the boring, the exciting, the embarrassing, the crazy, and everything else.

2008-04-18T23:32:00.003+08:00

HAPPY EXTREMELY TERRIBLY HORRENDOUSLY ATROCIOUSLY BELATED BIRTHDAY YANMING.
i'm so sorry it's so EXTREMELY TERRIBLY HORRENDOUSLY ATROCIOUSLY BELATED.
you know i love you, very, very, very, very much best friend!
i hope you enjoyed yourself yesterday watching that weird movie we watched, eating that ketchup laden hotdog, lamenting about the clothing this season, being all lesbian-like on one another, bitching about that woman who shoved you (HAHAHA I READ YOUR FACE.), walking on the seats along the esplanade and od-ing on chocolat. i certainly did. (: i've missed you so very much!
i hope you like the card (even though one of the ladies on it completely FLASHED her panties), the little things i got/made you, and the slippers!
sixth year, babe! one of the indications of our growth would be the fact that we actually OVERDOSED on chocolate. WHEN in six years have we EVER od-ed on chocolate?!WHEN? god, we're getting old.
thank you for all the time we spent together, being crazy, happy, upset, angry (whether or not at each other hahaha), eggcited, lost, bored AND EVERYTHING ELSE. thank you, thank you, THANK YOU! i couldn't have asked for a better friend, really.

aiyah, in short, LOVE YOU.
:D

2008-04-16T12:47:00.002+08:00

i'm really pretty glad.
i'm glad because i like things to be out in the open.
and because in that way, there's no need for pretending, for guessing. i like it. i like it that i've made up my mind on how i wanna take things from here.

i'm inhaling second hand smoke that's wafting into my study from the neighbours upstairs. seriously, don't they ever GO TO WORK? in the day they play pool (i know because they're so bad at it the balls bounce off the table and onto the floor. the sound is..), in the night, they sing on their home karaoke sets/have rowdy parties/talk loudly on their cellphones. where on earth do they get the money to finance their chain smoking/pool playing/party having/phone using?

i should go talk to them, and learn something.

the parents aren't coming back on the 18th.): smth to do with them going to hongkong or smth. (speaking of which , i haven't been to that place since primary 3.) i do want them to come back.
i mean, now that ming and i are more than capable of living independently and minding our own daily affairs, it's not an issue that they're in shanghai. it's just that it's kinda quiet without them around. oh well. but i guess that's the way life is for us until the father retires.
in fact, maybe it's a good thing.if we saw one another every day, we'd probably end up taking one another for granted eventually. and i think that taking someone who cares for granted, is one the worst things you can do.
haha and i'll probably be less inclined to update them on my life. hahahaha. which, is quite hilarious, cus i think they're coming to the realisation (slowly, for my dad) that i'm 19 this year and life isn't just about my best friend not talking to me, or about failing my math paper, or about being afraid to sleep alone that night. and they're realising that i do know more that i let out. (: hahaha while my dad struggles with that, my mum's adapting pretty well. in fact, i think she enjoys it. she always has that smirk on her face. when she can't help it, she'll laugh or push me for more details. i'm guessing she went through pretty much the same things, that's why. she's just giving adult-sounding, restrictive advice so my dad wouldn't die of anxiety. she's also definitely enjoying the fact that my dad seems to be suffering when i talk about things he was probably planning to keep from me till i'm like 30 or smth. HAHAHA.
whatever it is, i'm really thankful for them.

gosh i just read the papers and food supply shortages is an issue in many countries right now. the things happening around us seem so apocalyptic. or maybe i was just ignorant when i was younger, and never really paid attention to things that were happening anywhere other than to my immediate surroundings.
no matter what, it really is worrying.

Summer Skin

2008-04-13T13:25:00.008+08:00

Summer Skin -

Squeaky swings and tall grass
The longest shadows ever cast
The water's warm and children swim
And we frolicked about in our summer skin

so.
i went for my first auto car lesson on thursday and it was AWESOME. hahahahaha.
no more cluth/gear - related stresses. it's now down to the accelerator, the brake, the steering wheel and basically being happy driving. : D it helped that the driving instructor was really nice too!hahaha he even let me park the car so i could reply to my text messages when he heard my phone vibrate (very loudly). we spent the whole time talking about shanghai and taiwan, cus his full time job requires him to travel to shanghai pretty often. but it's so embarrassing, somehow he knew i skipped what was supposed to be my first auto lesson last sunday. i really don't know how he could have remembered. he said he wasn't the one who was supposed to be teaching me, so what could it be? my strange name? or maybe the entire centre's complaining about this girl with terrible attendance. hahahaha. :/

anyway!i shall head down to register for my PDL soon so i'd FINALLY get to get out of the circuit.
:D

HELLO NUS COULD YOU PLEASE CALL ME ALREADY.your silence is killing me.
please just call me up for an interview so i can get it over and DONE WITH, and so i can FINALLY go to shanghai. please?
oh and also, please remember to let me in?
i know i don't have FIVE As, Distinctions in H3s and an amazing CCA record, but i promise i'll work harder in college.

2008-04-10T16:41:00.004+08:00

a number of weird, extremely random, absurd observations that i have gathered over these couple of days (in no particular order of degree of absurdity/werid-ity/random-ity):

tv mobile at its best - i was on the beloved 113 busride on my way to dhobyghaut, where i was planning to catch a movie and buy "groceries" with my beloved jieshi. we were just talking, being ourselves, minding our own biznazzes, WHEN i happened to catch my first glimpses of the subject matter of one of the few weird/random/absurd (your pick) observations/fascinations i talked about earlier on. this subject matter in question, is in fact none other than our typical middle-aged- semi-old heartlander we young people normally refer (affectionately, mind you) to as "aunty". this aunty i'm talking about, looked like any other we'd normally see on buses and trains, surprisingly engrossed with the pixel-ated, stuttering images on tv mobile, while holding onto a billion environmentally murderous red plastic bags like their lives depended on them. except, this aunty, was exceptional in the sense that in her fascination (with tv mobile, i should think), her body drastically reduced the conventional healthy frequency of blinking one's eyes. in the 15 mins or so that 113 normally takes to arrive at kovan mrt station, this aunty failed to blink for a good few minutes in separate intervals. she was SO literally unblinkingly focused on the tv screen i began to worry about her eyes (which, btw, were huge. and it didn't help that they were also magnified by her reading glasses). the best thing was, she didn't seem to feel it. i THOUGHT i saw her eyes welling up after awhile, but her lids persevered and in many of those few minute intervals, she watched, without at all blinking. i was so perturbed by the issue that i even contemplated the possibility of sharing the exact same blinking patterns as the aunty, meaning, i thought that whenever i blinked, she did too, possibly explaining the apparent lack of eyelid activity. but no, it was all her, and i have jieshi to back this up for me.
anger management? - so after catching our movie, jieshi and i settled down at the al fresco section of starbucks at dg, sipping our hot chocolates (and dipping her lollipop into her drink, in jieshi's case) , not really minding our own busniesses, people watching. anyway, halfway through our chill-out session, we noticed this funky (she was bald?half-bald?had VERY short hair?) "aunty" sitting at the corner of our section. see, there was this other lady touting around the area, trying to get people to purchase some thing to help "support the livelihoods of the old" (i shall comment about this incident another time), which was very dubious in itself, so basically no one really paid attention. point is, this unnamed lady decided to take a stab in the dark, and approached our funky "aunty", who was enjoying a session of chiling-out herself, reading the papers all. but unlike most of the public's meek attempts at brushing characters like these off, this aunty said in a semi-loud voice (plus pretty large gestures) that suggested that if this unnamed lady continued to tout, she'd alert the management at PS. feisty, right? BUT, no, the following incident was what took the cake. (this was what jieshi and i pieced together after, cus we were previously busy making the observation that singaporean guys get their bags from only three brands - crumpler, NUM [ew] and deuter) there was this garbage collector who approached the aunty, probably to ask if he could collect her cup. somehow, in doing so, he set off a fuse and this aunty got to her feet, and began violently hurling expletives (in a variety of languages and dialects, also involving family members and body parts) at the garbage collector, launching into what was a rather pro-longed exchange of swear words and curses, which really shed no light on what warranted the blow-out.(i found myself acquiring newfound insights into the extent of our racial integration after the incident, after they both displayed good grasps of curses in languages i never thought the other would've understood) anyway the entire incident ended with the ENTIRE area standing around watching, as the aunty launched herself periodically at the garbage collector and possibly hitting him with her newspapers (the pillar was blocking her at times), until staff from starbucks and cafe cartel were mobilised to settle the issue.
scream - while watching horror flicks in cinemas, cinema-goers tend to reach climatic tension at the strangest, least (or less) horrifying/shocking/climatic scenes. we were watching orphanage and there was this scene that triggered off a series of screams, which was really quite strange cus the audience literally burst out laughing after screaming. i know, strange right? but i admit to grabbing jieshi at one of the stranger, less scary scenes too. hahahaha.

final conclusion, the heartlands are where the love's at. (:

2008-04-07T17:24:00.002+08:00

i cut my hair!
nothing drastic, just lightening up the load. my hair gets extremely thick after a while. not one hairdresser i've been too hasn't complained, i swear. i think it must be the chore of sweeping up my hair after the haircut.they've also complained about my natural waves, which can be QUITE wavy if i fail to blow dry my hair that particular day. oh weeeell. i like my waves, given they go the right way that day.

yesterday was good!
finally met with the best friend, hung around my place then headed over to chomp chomp for late lunch. it's been so long since i've seen her. my room was smelling a little like durian, even after i got home. HAHAHA.
hello best friend you know i love you. thank you for being so honest, all the time. it's really what i need right now.

today's been a brother-sister bonding day with ming.
that little bugger skipped school so we decided to head down town for lunch and get his lenses collected before he making his way back to school for training. we (or rather, he ) ended up splurging on lunch, cus that little bugger decided he wanted desserts and drinks to complete his meal (trust me i made him feel bad about that mudpie he DEVOURED.hahahaha, look ma, FIVE KG!). it was fun, i admit. he started telling me about his girl issues and i was really amused. it never struck me that the little bugger that used to (and still does, mind you) sleep with his baby blanket and soft toys is now the "hot-blooded young man" he says he is.
it's a little disturbing, that phrase, but i guess it's true. that bugger even gave me some good advice, so i guess it's true he's no longer that little bugger that:
- loved biting people
-exploded in my cheong sam (:Dhahahahahahahahaha. that was CLASSIC)
-used to spray water at our neighbour's windows,
- i used to worry would get kidnapped everytime we went out
- peed in his pants laughing cus a bunch of my childhood friends and i were teasing him
- always wanted to tag along when i went for sleepovers at jean's place

but ming's still a little bugger. (:

2008-04-04T09:28:00.003+08:00

guess what?

no, i have not been to the driving school to change my courses.
no, i have not paid for my smu apps.
no, i haven't been swimming.
no, i have not been studying for my ATT, which happens to be on MONDAY.

HAHA. i'm amazed at my lack of productivity.seriously. WAKE UP YOUR IDEA POON KAL-LYNN.
seriously!

so NOW i'll go wash up, have some food, and head down to smu to pay for my apps cus it's on top in terms of the way my priorities go.
oh and i have to start the car later.
i feel so tempted to just drive the car around the estate, just for fun, just to try out auto cars. hahaha but nah, i don't think it's a good idea.

today SHALL be a day of productivity.

/edit.
OKAY so i just got back, and i guess today wasn't all that bad. (:

i went down to smu in the morning, and paid for smu apps.
after which, i went down to ubi and had my courses changed. 3A BABY! and i also booked a grand total of 4 lessons hahahahahaha new found motivation, my friends.
came home, had a drink, and headed on out for a swim swim swim. it looked like it was gonna pour when i got to the pool so i jumped in and did a few quick laps and got up. then i realised the sky was clearing. ha, ha. but anyway i was having gastric pains during the swim, for some peculiar reaaaason.

relatively speaking, today's been a day of productivity i guess. HAHAHA.
but no, i havent studied my FTT )):
and now i shall head out to start the car, so i have one more thing to strike out! : D

reply to tags go here:
jia - HAHAHAH. you let the car SLIDE?! how to slide! i don't know how auto cars work :/ but i'm going to learn! SEE YOU SOON JIAJIA. comeback soon! you're learning to drive there too??

pei - AIYAH! i forgot to take a screen shot. hahaha. it's like deleting our past right. i know you like delete buttons pei ((: hahahaha. now my inbox is permanently at zero cus i just delete delete delete. so satisfying!

audrey - SUPPER. : D : D BUT. that'd be months later ): probably even after we get into uni. )): for now, we have to be happy with our usual mode of transport. zzz. I MISSED YOU! how was thailand.

2008-04-02T09:27:00.003+08:00

i'm updating incessantly, because:

i feel like it.
i have the time to do so.
the morning breeze is coming through the study (like, finally!) and it means today shall be a good day, because the weather is awesome and nothing ever gets in the study.
i just feel like it.

last night i was thinking about some stuff, and i realised i pushed away what i now realise, is the thing i want most of.
i shunned simplicity, security, sincerity and honesty, in exchange for hoping for some sort of a foolish feeling that was lacking. and because of that, i now have everything of the opposite, and a lot of this foolish feeling to deal with. how dumb is that.
hahaha. i think this makes no sense to anyone, but i know full well that the situation i'm suffering right now, is called retribution/karma/punishment for not appreciating what was in my face.

stupid girl, you.

aaaaaaannnnnnnyyyywaaaaaayyyyy.
today i shall go down to the driving sekolah, and have my driving course changed.
3A license baby!
but which also means i have to RETAKE all the previous driving lessons, starting from zero zero ZERO. thank goodness BTT and ATT for both manual and auto cars are common, otherwise i'd be pulling my hair out, starting from my bangs. thankfully manual's also supposedly waaaay harder to handle, so autos will probably take less time to catch on.
i promise i will not simply conveniently FORGET about driving lessons anymore (omg, i can just hear the ka-chings going off) i promise i will study for my ATT (which is NEXT WEEK, my friend) i promise i will book three lessons in advance i promise i will try my MIGHTY BEST to get my license ASAP so i can fetch ming to tuition (no, not school, no. i'm never waking up at ungodly hours as such, ever again), take my first passenger on a ride (YES BEST FRIEND, THAT IS YOU!), give them nay-sayers SAFE ENJOYABLE carrides (while making them PAY me for slander, and for fuel charges HA!), take my maternal grandma to shop for her kebaya, pick my parents up from the airport for the very first time.
ALL IN DUE'S COURSE.
(actually, all in a few months' time, more like. hahaha)

so for now, i'm gonna go wear my most comfy outfit and sit at the customer services centre for maybe about an hour or so.

fujifilm or diana ts?

2008-04-01T14:31:00.006+08:00

it'a raining and i love it!

i miss my mom. i shall call her now.

i realised no one's seen my brows in a very long time, since i sort of have bangs now. hahaha.i should let them out more, since i actually make an effort to shape them myself nowadays.

mana mana-ed with zhaoey yesterday. twas fun chilling out (tt place is seriously the BEST chill out place)and everything. it was like r&r after our intense sessions of guitar hero, EXPERT STYLE. hahahaha. my fellow expert. (:
but 45 took REALLY long to come and i was SO tired by the time we were heading home.
by the time i slept (i was so tired i fell asleep with the tv on) it was about 12ish, 1. but somehow, i was wide awake by 6.

i haven't felt this relaxed in a long while.

hm, i'm craving for something, but i can't put my finger on it. I THINK it's the tobelrone cake from coffee bean, though. yes, that should be it.

i watched step up2 btw! the dances were good, but i felt they were a little too "street" for my taste, with all that breaking etc. plotline wise, i should say it didn't really exist. hahahaha. but it was still fun to watch people dance!

now i wanna watch awake. the story's so exciting! it's about this person who was supposed to be anaesthesised (spelling? or wait, does the word even exist? haha) but was really fully, mentally aware of his surroundings, in the sense that he could hear everything around him. can you imagine, can you? i wanna see what they made of a storyline like that.

/edit
ALRIGHT i dont know why i'm updating the second time in a day.
rahhhr.
nobody's at home now, except me. wati's hanging around somewhere, ming's at tuition and the rents are miles miles miles away. so i'm perfectly, completely, totally, undoubtedly, unquestionably, definitely ALONE. hahaha. i've not been ALONE like THIS in quite a bit. it's a strange, echoing (not literally) feeling that i somewhat miss. HMMM.
it's nice to be alone like this once in a while, having the whole house to myself. it's nice to let my mind wander off, let my mind go wherever it wants, while i remain physically stationary.

but i miss the feeling i get when everyone comes together more.
so yes, i do miss my family.

i just realised, i FORGOT to go for my driving lesson this morning. after ALL THAT talking about driving, i FORGOT.
wow, kallynn, wow.
wow, wow, wow.

zhaoey says i should write the hyphen in my name. cus technically, my name ain't kallynn.
my proper name's actually Kal-Lynn. it's two separate words. KAL first then LYNN second. LYNN with the capital L.she says i should, but i told her it's too troublesome, that dash in between impedes smooth writing.
so technically, i'm not kay-lynn or ca-lynn or kai-lynn or car-lynn or kai-ling or anyway people pronounce my name.
i'm KAL- LYNN. KAL as in calorie CAL, lynn as in lean on me LEAN.
hi, i'm CAL-LEAN. all my friends will hate saying my name cus they have to accentuate the Ls.

i seriously wonder what my dad was thinking.
i think my mum was still under anaesthesia when my dad filled in the forms, so she couldn't pitch in at all, and so my name was wholly his idea.
only people who look at my ic/passport/birthcert will know how strange it really looks. once an oral examiner asked me if i was chinese. (?!) hahahha. maybe cus my full name doesn't follow up with a chinese one, like say, tan mei ling mary or mary tan mei ling. mine's just kal-lynn poon. hahaha.

for me, i've decided, i want to name my daughter/s simone, alex, cher, abby. in order of preference.
i know, i know, gawk at me for wanting to name my daughter alex. it's NOT a boy's name. it's actually short for ALEXIS, ya'll. i just thought it'd be cool if her name was two syllable. short and sweet, y'know? and it's not a frilly frilly girly girly kind of name, it's got a certain masculinity to it, which i appreciate. BUT. i'm hoping of course the masculinity in the name doesn't compromise the femininity in my future daughter's character, know what i mean? haha.

for guys? i haven't really envisioned myself with a son, really. HAHAH.
i guess jean (as in the french spelling for john) would be the only that i really like now.
yupp.
there you go.
me being bored for you. hahaha.

2008-03-31T11:00:00.002+08:00

so i've just gotten back from the airport, from sending mom off.
i'm not sad per se, i've gotten used to the notion of sending people off, it's just part of my life i guess. but i do think i'd get bored once in a while. hahaha the things my mum and i do together.
haha, oh well! i'll have my driving, swimming etc etc to keep me preoccupied.
but sending her off makes me wanna go to shanghai REAL BAD. i haven't visited that place during springtime in a LONG LONG while. everytime i go, it's so cold i'd always fall sick. i wanna go shopping, i wanna go road-tripping, i wanna hang out there and feel my brain die bit by bit.
but too bad, college apps are still not over, so maybe i'll only get to go over in may, when everything's over.

like pei, i've also been on a deleting spree (great minds think alike! we both were deleting stuff like crazy at e same time. i was deleting my mail and her her inbox or smth). i started with my emails, and i felt so GOOD when i saw 119 reduced to 0. i deleted everything, everything, everything, except for a few emails from friends and obviously important official stuff. as i deleted the bulk of sats crap, i was feeling so so gratified. GOODBYE STATES, GOODBYE. GOODBYE SIX HOUR LONG EXAMS GOODBYE. then i moved on to my contacts (i seriously can't put faces to some of the names), my cellphone inbox, my cellphone outbox. hahaha. i feel so baggage-free now.

2008-03-28T15:29:00.002+08:00

time really flies!
the last i recalled, i was just drifting off to sleep last night, wondering if i should have been feeling at least a little worried about the interview the next day.
and before you know it, my interview's over and i'm home right now, feeling as if i'd just done a three hour long A levels paper and need some time for recuperation.
i'm so glad it's over. i'm so glad i quit my job. and i'm so glad it's the weekends.
(but actually, it doesn't matter, cus even after the weekends are over, it's still the weekends for me hahahha.)

it's like the first tangible taste of competition after such a long long long period of time spent idling around, losing focus and wondering where my life was going. and it just happens that the dean of admissions had to sit in at our room and listen to the entire thing.
i seriously do not know how i did, but it was fun, in a strange, get your adrenaline going way. when everything was over i was slightly, SLIGHTLY delirious cus my adrenaline was just pumping pumping pumping until i walked it off hahaha!

oh well. it's over, so whatever will be, will be.

the weather's terrible today.beacause i was wearing terrible black workpants, they soaked up every ounce of sunlight that fell through the front seat windows, burning my knees. it was a bad sensation, i didn't like it at all. hahaha i'm reduced to talking about the weather. maybe i should really shut my blog down.

2008-03-26T19:42:00.005+08:00

IT'S NOT OVER TONIGHT
GIVE ME ONE MORE CHANCE TO MAKE IT RIGHT
I MAY NOT GET THROUGH THE NIGHT
I WON'T GO HOME WITHOUT YOU.

hot, hot, hot, hot stuff. (cheryl and jieshi both agree)
i might even consider getting a tat of a guitar just cus it's just so hot. HAHAHAHA.
(nah actually i wouldn't. cus when i grow out of this i'd totally regret it and wanna scrape tt ink off my skin pigment by pigment and normally i grow out of things pretty quickly, so tt figures. oh and the mother will personally see that i bleach my skin like michael jackson should i ever get ink-ed.)
but seriously. only JT and adam levine can make their whiney voices semi-sexy. hahhahaha.

okay, i'm not THAT crazy.
i'm just happy enough with maroon 5 to re-listen to songs about jane.

second last day of work was hell!
it was so boring i felt like crying during the first half of the day. i had ZILCH to do, had no place to sit (cus some colleague KEPT COMING over to my desk to check his emails, until at one point in time i got so annoyed i wanted to tell him i'd check it for him!) and had no one to talk/chat to/with, cus xinyi got bus-sed off to do smth and peiling took half day off. so basically the first half of the day was spent trying VERY hard to not fall asleep on the desk.
once the second half came, the change in pace was so drastic if my heart was weak it'd fail, i swear. hahaha. people began rushing last minute documents and files before their very last minute meetings, and it was the admin staff (i.e another colleague and i)who suffered most. we had to rush strange documents, file, punch holes, bind, photocopy, save etc etc while they sit around being jittery and high-strung.
by the end of the day i was SO tired i could barely open my eyes i just felt like floating home, and so i did.

but i'm glad i'm home. (:
i'm glad i had dinner (loads of fish and vegetables. told you my mum's getting back onto the whole health junkie thing. but not for long! she's leaving this weekend.) i'm also glad for my daily cocoa intake to balance out all of that low-fat, low-calorie, low-cholestrol, low- etc etc etc dinner. my mum's very intent on getting us to live as long as we possibly can, with all that lows. hahahaha. oh well, i'm not complaining.it does taste healthy, i guess.

although i'm really glad tmr's the last day of work, i'd be happier if i didn't have my interview on friday. ))):
i'm at a loss, as to how i should prepare for it, what i should expect and what i should say to the questions thrown at me that day. WISH ME LUCK LUCK LUCK LUCK, i really need it!
LUCK TO EVERYONE ELSE who're going through this! so nerve-wrecking. SMU is WAAAY too efficient. i'd just submitted my applications (w/o even paying or sending in extra documents yet) on monday night, when they called me on tuesday morning! i was so super duper uber shocked i think i sounded stupid on the phone. but i shan't complain, because i should be thankful that i even get a shot at the interviews given my grades, really. however i was thinking of giving it about a week's gestation period, not a NIGHT, you know? ahahaha. gosh.
welcome to the world of tertiary education.

right now i can't wait for the weekends to come, cus i really can't wait for friday to be over with. scary, babe!

anyway, i'm off! i had interesting things to talk about (trust me, i really did. ) but somehow my brain swithced off the minute i stepped in, so i guess if you want a mundane recollection of my day at work, mushed up with random injections of minor details about my life, knock yourselves out. (: i'll try harder the next time, cus i really do see weird things happening ard me everyday. really, i do. hhahahaha.

2008-03-22T22:31:00.002+08:00

this weekend's been pretty good so far.
spent good friday at dhoby ghaut supporting juniors, walking around, chilling out with friends and meeting with the girls. (: twas a busy, busy day.
i'm so proud of our juniors! so many of them have become national youth climbers, and that really is no mean feat, especially for such a young club. they all did pretty well and yea it was kinda nice to be around them, even though i admit i wasn't entirely entertained by the climbing, except when it was someone we knew. but anyway since i haven't been around that much, i felt i wanted to get back to it somehow.

moving on:
(((: i'm happy happy happy! this coming week's gonna be the LAST week i'm working! hahahaha. not that this job sucks or anything, but like i said, i think at this point in time, i really really really wanna get my license ASAP. my mum's gonna be leaving this wednesday (i can't believe it) and the car would just be parked there. what a waste, seriously, what a waste! thinking about driving, and all that independence that comes with it (besides of course being smothered by insanely inflated fuel prices) gives me the thrills! hahaha. and friends have been making fun of me WHILE telling me that i should take them on rides. tsk tsk, gotta clean up yr acts, please. but anyways it's also smth practical that i really have to accomplish, cus otherwise when my parents go away for months at a time, getting groceries, going out, going for tuition (in the case of ming) would really be a nightmare. yupp.
so basically, i HAVE to get my license! i really want to. really really really want to. hahaha.
now that i think about it, maybe i should switch to class 3A cars. although i refused to admit that girls can't handle manual cars when a friend was making fun of me yesterday, it's a given that automatic cars are FAR easier to drive. and i'm quite in need of my license. hahaha, i really do not want to go through the bother of taking the whole thing again no please no.

besides driving, i really wanna pick up another dance class. it's been bugging me, so much so that i even dreamt about it. hahaha.so i guess i'll see about it!

btw, i wanna watch stepup2! so many ppl have been just RAVING about the dances and i really wanna go watch it. it's probably gonna be one of the kind of shows that will make you wanna dance just right there right then.

2008-03-19T22:56:00.002+08:00

i havent been sleeping well three nights in a row. it's one of those semi-conscious, slightly stressful kind of rest. and yes, i know it's called restless sleep.
therefore, trust me when i say i am pretty darn tired right now. i think its taken a toll on me, cus i look (and feel) kinda pale. i know for sure, also cus my mum didn't let it go easy. she insisted on getting me back onto beetroot juice (yes yuck. but it really is amazingly healthy. and you'd think that having apple/waterchestnut/orange juice every morning would be good enough) and fish soup (her all-purpose remedy for the sick).
met mummy in town after work yesterday(she was so sweet she wanted to spend some alone time with me cus ever since i started work, we barely get the chance to talk. so she actually drove all the way down to town although her knee was being a bitch.what would i do without my momma. ((:) for dinner and a semi-meetup with my cousin, who btw, saved up for her own poly education! i am so mighty proud of her. my mum was SO happy she gave my cousin a high five and kept tucking her (meaning my cousin) hair behind her ears. i'm so happy (: i hope everything works out, and my cousin makes it with her biz diploma. this is what i call gumption. it's what i need a little more of! hahaha yeapp so at least things are looking up for their family and icouldn't be happier. (((:

ANYWAAAAYS.
that night i had this crazy dream. i've concluded that we should NEVER chat before going to bed, makes the mind go haywire.
before i slept that night, i was talking to peiling and vera. when i was talking to peiling, i was thinking of dance lessons. when i was talking to vera, we were raving about her cute as a button nephew matty watty crabby patty, who we both wanna bite cus he's just so irresistable.
so i guess ALL of that translated into one insane dream involving peiling trying to convince me to take dance lessons on a ship (YES SHIP ?!?!) while we both try to escape from a devil of baby, who will eat us up once he bites us.
hahahaha. it was seriously scary i woke up a couple of times in between but everytime i got back to sleep the dream just continued, goodness.

okay moving on to less sleep related subjects!
i've just applied for nus and ntu, and i feel so very accomplished. ((:
i HATE college apps, so i'm glad it's two down, one more to go! i'm determined to finish smu by tmr, so i can finally put my mind at ease. this week's been relatively stressful for me, being crazy busy and tired and all.

HMM.
btw, friends who're visiting thailand anytime soon, please please please be careful. i read on the news tt day tt a swedish woman got killed in broad daylight and therefore all female tourists to phuket will have to wear whistles around their necks. i also read that there's been some kind of a violent rebellion in southern thailand. though i would question the validity of these pieces of news, but better safe than sorry right? so people like LOW ZHAOHONG, please come back in one piece and not in the form of separate arms, legs, head, torso and BUTT. you know i'll miss your butt otherwise! so make sure it's in tact. thank you v much.

HAPPY LONG WEEKENDS ALL!

2008-03-18T23:40:00.002+08:00

i'm tired again!
but less so tonight. (:
i feel SLIGHTLY relieved, cus i've finally finished editing my personal statement. it's so darn annoying, it seems like the three colleges are making things deliberately difficult for us, you know. but yes, i'm glad the MOST of it's ALMOST done.
tmr, at work, yes, at work, i shall edit it the LAST few times and then there goes my apps. YAY! after that, please remind me to actually PAY. thank you v much.

it's so unhealthy, i feel like i might have one of those syndromes when you dread/avoid/fear being tied down/long-term commitments. why? because i'm gonna be quitting my job, after just one month. somehow i just can't seem to settle down and stay.
i'm hoping it's not one of those syndromes, i'm hoping it's possibly because
1. the job's rather boring, not rewarding enough.
2. i've got many other things i WANT to do, for instance, i would like VERY much to just get my license already, and skip the remaining 22 lessons, FTT and final prac test. ): i would also like to possibly start my tennis/swimming
3. cus the workplace is just so far away and it's honestly not worth the travelling.
hahahha.
yea, so there you go. i do not fear commitment. (:

being the muddlehead i am, i think i threw my cca records away, together with ALL my a lvls notes. don't ask me why i threw it away, ask my mum. i had every intention of keeping them till i was very sure i didn't need them anymore, but being the obsessive compulsive cleaner my mum is, she threw it all away. it's jsut that she's been HATING my books and notes ever since the post first three months, when i actually began to do and keep my tutorials/lecture notes. hahaha. so when she had the opportunity to get rid of them, trust me, she jumped right at it.
so i guess i have to make some time either this week, or the next, to go down to school and re-print my CCA records, THEN send them off to the three colleges three working days before the datelines.ahhh. but WORK is in the WEST and SCHOOL is in the EAST. i will probably have to take leave this coming monday just to go to school. i really don't wanna screw my apps up it's smth that just can't happen.
go kallynn poon go.
stop being lazy, stop procrastinating.

okay, i'm off.
my eyes are half-shut and i have a nagging feeling my two latest posts sound preeeetty insane.

2008-03-17T23:37:00.003+08:00

hello life's gonna be crazy this week.

there are a billion and one things i want/need to do, but since work takes up the entire day, i don't really get to do these things i need/want to do. ):
ah.
i'm quite tired and it's only monday.

i need to sleep soon soon soon!

but i HAVE HAVE HAVE to do my college apps by the end of this week, i don't care. i HAVE TO DO IT.

hahaha. no more procrastinating, no more distraction. only after i'm done.

anyway today was a rather good day at work. didnt really have much to do (trust me, i try so very hard to look for some work to do, but when there's nothing to do, there really is nothing). so anyway i spent the most part of the morning chatting with xinyi, who, like me, has nothing much to do at work. hahahaha.
the rest of the day was REAALLY laidback as well, i didn't even get to do any editing/typing, so basically i spent my day pretending to be busy but really just clicking the same things over and over till i felt so stupid. hahaha
after work, met up with best friend for our after-work few trainstops thing, just to talk a little. i seem to be conversationally impaired sometimes. there are things running through my mind but somehow i don't put them into words. even if i do, they dont come out right. i don't know if i make sense esp since i'm so dead tired right now i dont really know what i'm talking about.
yupp and after met zhaoey, jieshi, wanlin, vera and can knee for dinner at timbre. the service REALLY sucked btu the food and drinks were pretty good. twas good seeing vera after so long. her and her furby shirt. hahahaha.
yupp so that's about it for today.

thank goodness it's a four day week!

2008-03-13T23:33:00.002+08:00

my gastric's been giving me hell since sunday. daaaarrrrnn.
today i just did the same thing to myself and i'm paying the price. i can't go to sleep cus my gastricitis seems to be working up. raaah. i should eat home more, i need wholesome home-cooked meals (unlike those we have outside) but it's virtually impossible now that my work hours are so looonnngg (other than for late late dinner).

it's okay, it's okay. i'll be quitting in 2 weeks' time!

sorry if i haven't been responsive online. i've been watching old dance vids all night. i can't believe i was once a dancer! and i really wanna get back to it soon soon soon. it's nice to FEEL like you know every muscle in your body and just have FUN while you're at it. i remember feeling so happy (no matter what happened before) everytime i danced. sure i complained a hell lot, but it was all good, and now i miss it so much!

HMMMMMMMMM. gastric pains.

aaaaaannnyyyywaaaay! tmr's friday!!!!aaahh. weekends, my weekends. though the bulk of saturday would be spent in nus, it's the weekends, nevertheless!i'm hoping i'd use this weekend to get my body back into shape, cus i've been haviing sporadic gastric pains plus an unusually spread out period (hence backaches and minor migraines) this entire week and i so want to feel well again.

2008-03-11T22:45:00.002+08:00

HELLO!
work's been draining! i've been so absolutely tired every single night i can't stay up past 11. i try so very hard so i get to catch my monday back to back house episodes but to no avail. i never knew filing, punching holes, binding, editing (yes i edit their english sekeretlyhahaha) and printing's so hectic/exhausting. by the end of everyday i'd be having a headache, till i actually leave the building and get some fresh air (other than the carbon smelling air in there. no wonder all the photocopiers seem to have perpetual bad days. it's the carbon-ated air i tell you!)
oh well. HOPEFULLY this compensates with my skin clearing up, HOPEFULLY!hahahaha.
ah but i do hate eating out at work! i feel VERY sick after every lunch time. i dont knw why. feels like my gastricitis' working up again, boo.
okay. i shall think positive, money-related thoughts everytime i feel sick/tired/bored/have a headache/gastric attack! : D

i know i don't normally talk about religion/ God, but i really have to say, God's been very good to me, answering my prayers about a whole variety of things in amazing, hidden(but sure) and sometimes surprising ways. for that, i'm truly thankful!

okay. on with my superficial ranting. hahahaha.
i'm really happy right now, because like i said, being straightforward and honest is probably the quickest route to happiness. guessing games, confusion and all that nonsense takes up too much of life, really. there's way too much in life to miss trying to get out of unnecessary complications. i mean obviously we learn from getting out of trouble, solving problems, but some of these issues we face really aren't worth the unhappiness and time. haha, so basically, i'm glad i'm quite over that and i guess it's time to get out of the limbo and actually move on with life.

after the uni apps are done, i think another shanghai trip is in order!this time round it'd be warmer, and shopping would be heaven. :D hahahahaha. anyone interested? and i do miss hanging out in that little apartment there.

btw. i bought a pair of birks online, but i think i'm gonna be selling them. look out for them! they're new.

should i give up, or should i just keep chasing pavements even if it leads nowhere

2008-03-08T23:57:00.009+08:00

so results are out, and i guess i really am thankful. it could have been worse, and i certainly expected worse.

anyway i guess from now onwards it's down to seriously thinking about what i might want to do about my life, applying for university etc etc. overwhelming, really, doing it within a few weeks' time.

but i guess that's it, isn't it?

scrap whatever i just said/typed. hahaha. i think i was basically just annoyed with the limbo between trying to get on with life and being held back.
i'll stick to my position by keeping out of trouble and complicated issues. being straightforward is good, and i shall be exactly that. i'll end whatever i think i should end, continue with whatever i think should progress, and start whatever i should get started with.
it is that simple, but it isn't that easy.hahaha!
whatever it is, i stick to my word, i am glad all the anxiety's over, because, finally, finally, FINALLY, i have a direction i know i want/should head towards. i guess that is the most important thing right now. it's possibly the only factor about our futures we can determine (or at least help/try determine) right here, right now. whatever happens after that is beyond our own control, and at that time, perhaps we'll get back to waiting on another set of indications on where our lives will take us.
though i don't quite enjoy waiting on things, we need a break after all the action. (:

(btw, i think no country for old men is grossly overrated! )

2008-03-06T18:28:00.002+08:00

okay, so tomorrow will be it.

it's a major lie if i said i was never nervous/anxious/high-strung/had major butterfly attacks in my stomach this entire week.
i experienced all of the above in alternating bouts, no matter where i went, no matter who i talked to and regardless of what i did. so i'm sorry if i haven't really been around much, literally or not.
today i tried prepping myself for the moment i actually receive my results slip but i realised (also through the long chat i had with yan earlier on) that there really is no point in preparing myself for what i'm gonna see. i have absolutely no idea and when things happen, plans change and everything just goes out of hand, either in happy or sad way.
so i guess i should just give myself a break today, and just leave the worrying to tmr when i do have that slip of paper in my hands.

but on the other hand, there is actually a positive perspective to this entire ordeal.
the fact that we're getting our results back tmr also denotes the point when we stop waiting and actually do something to affect our own lives. at this point in time, i think there is absolutely nothing worse than just waiting on something like this. so i guess i am half glad this is happening, cus in other aspects, life's already so full of waiting, guessing and hoping, so when something definite actually happens, i guess it means we should just go along in the direction we set out for from the beginning. happy or sad, at least we know what to feel right?

hahaha. SOOOOOOOOO.
good luck everyone. ((:
i'll try my best to control myself tmr. TRY.

2008-03-02T11:18:00.002+08:00

i am so spontaneous!
hahahaha.
i really am. i just got this job near ikea doing office administration. i don't really know what the company does, but i know i'm gonna be doing loads of typing. the most i know is that my mum's friend's sister works in the company, and i'm supposed to be looking for chuntao on monday. the hours are kinda long, 845 to 545, but i was thinking that whatever can help take my mind off the results and actually earn me some cash should do me some good. hahaha so there! one call (and a few missed calls) is all it takes.

besides, i like the west, and i like ikea, and i hope it rains in the west cus it's nice. HAHAH. ok THAT did not make sense. but it is a fact that i'm working pretty near best frieeenndd so we can meet up after work for our crazy west exploration escapades (how indiana jones!hahaha).basically, i'm hoping i'd actually enjoy doing this job (unlike the previous exp), though i was actually hoping to find a job in the banking sector etc etc. oh well. you can't have everything, can you.

so till now my weekend's been pretty good and yes i'm quite happy right now because
1. i just woke up.
2. it's raining
3. we're having thomson pratas for breakfast/lunch.
4. i might go swimming when the rain stops

happy weekends everyone!

2008-02-29T18:04:00.003+08:00

this is one shoe i DO NOT want in style. it's seriously insane! you're supposed to look "dainty" in it. well OBVIOUSLY you would if you're gonna be walking on tippy-toes everywhere and anywhere in this shoe/torture/heel-less menace!this is WAY out of hand. you pay just about 3600 usdollars to kill your feet, spine and legs. can you imagine?! if this trend filters down into the mass market, (i'm not even talking about mid-range now. i'm going straight to mass mass market the likes of our far easts and bugises etc etc) and people actually start going crazy over this no heel-tiptoes trend, i foresee many many pedestrian accidents, irreversible lifetime feet cramps and explosive development in the chiropractic practise/chinese sinseh practise.
conventional heels can already kill our feet, we really don't need this to torment us before actually finishing up the job. i do hope this little idea remains contained exclusively within the community of insane high fashionistas like v.beckam etc etc.
but who knows, maybe someone will come up and claim (due to some miraculous ingenius new technology) that the shoe is actually comfy! after that all we have to do is wait for it to trickle down to our bugis villages so we can all walk about on our toes for 36 sing dollars. well but in that case we'd really be causing pedestrian accidents, irreversibly lifetime cramps and contribute to the chiropractic practises. hahaha.

have i mentioned i really hate waiting?
i really do, and now you know.
i hate especially the feeling you get when you wait for things like results. i hated waiting the few seconds the computer system at the driving school took to show me that i'd passed the BTT. i hated the few weeks i had to wait to know about my dad's body checkup. i hated waiting for the o levels and naturally, the alevels right now.
obviously i hate waiting for people when they're late (i try to be punctual most of the time unless i really can't help it so i like people who, likewise, are punctual. hahahaha or okay lah maybe just slightly late is fine. just not hideously late like an hour or smth), as well as waiting for mondays to come so i can watch house and all that.
hahaha i'm so sorry i'm being so whine-y and not over it (i know i should jsut get over worry) because i'm quite afraid.

AAANYYYWAAAY,
i found out about smth my mum's been keeping from me since i was young (perhaps because she didn't want to set a precedent for her teenage children) but today she finally admitted that the first time she met my dad was at a club/disco/whatever it was called at that time.HAHAHAHA.
okay lah it wasn't so bad cus they were introduced by mutual friends, so they weren't complete strangers before my dad actually started going after her. but you know, i don't think this will ever happen to me?because firstly, we should all be at least a little wary of people (much less guys) at clubs. also, i doubt anyone can hear themselves think, much less actually have a proper conversation with anyone else at a place like that.

peiling i'm sorry you still remember me chasing you off the floor )):
next time i will let you sit there for a longer time i promisehahahaha. as long as i don't get a headache listening. :D:D and as long as there are no giant red ants on the floor that will bite you.
sorry!!!!

i'll follow you into the dark

2008-02-27T12:19:00.003+08:00

although i really won't, i like this song quite a bit.

roar i'm really annoyed. although we all know by now results aren't this week, it's getting really irritating waiting for it. i want my mind and life to SETTLE so i can finally move on and get on with it.
i think it's not a good sign, me wanting/needing a swim again. hahaha. it's like a drug or something, i get the same notion everytime i get annoyed/upset. i should really learn to deal with it in my head.
moreover, my tan lines are getting quite sick, the sun isn't evening out my previous tan, so now i have two overlapping (venn diagram-like) tan lines.(although it's definitely better than the fbt-petshirt tan we used to get in school after trainings) it's gross but i do feel incredibly happy after i swim.

so yesterday we sent my dad off to shang-the-hai. it seems most sia flights have been transferred to t3, so we hung around and my parents are quite in love with the terminal. i guess it is nice in a spacious, calm sort of way, highly uncharacteristic of the conventional airport. go visit it if you want a quiet, uncongested hang out!

oh anyway there were driving lessons yesterday and i must say, (pointedly so) that it went well! hahahaa. i've finally LEARNT to change gears without causing the car to stall, or be on the verge of it (i'm taking lessons for manual cars, in case i HAVE to go overseas and the cars may be manual). it really is fun but i realised how focused i'd have to be to be safe cus we have to look out for things that we used to take for granted as passengers and pedestrians. hohoho. i'm really looking forward to my next lesson tmr!
but i think this dude taking his test failed cus he didn't check for cars (mine for instance) before turning out of a smaller lane. anyway, i was driving on the main lane when this test-car swerved from a smaller perpendicular lane quite abruptly into mine so obviously i had to make an emergency stop. my instructor assured me that he'd failed (yes!just because he was put in a semi-dangerous situation like this!) and i felt quite bad. cus had i not been there, it probably wouldn't have been a problem cus it wouldn't be that obvious that the guy didn't check for oncoming cars. it's gotta suck. now you know what i mean when we take many things for granted as passengers and pedestrians!haha

2008-02-25T16:39:00.002+08:00

yes yesterday i had fun with the family. we had a good lunch and proceeded to roam about town.got some essentials and basically had a good, tiring day.

but somehow, not tiring enough for me to sleep well at night. i could half feel myself physically tossing and turning in bed, despite being already half asleep. you know THAT kind of feeling?yea, THAT kind of feeling. instead of sleeping in tihs morning, i ended up waking up earlier than usual (of which timing shan't be disclosed hahaha : D ) and decided i needed to swim, i needed to dip my body in a pool of blue chlorinated water as i mentally picture the hair dye in my hair (obviously) get eroded away into the pool. and yes, i felt WAAAY better after my swim because together with my hair colour, the stress over the results, the uncertainty and everything went away. (yes i know it's called endorphins hoho)

then the fellow expert (or not so expert actually) came over but this time we didn't battle it out to our deaths, but rather, decided we'd be better off (actually better or not i dont know?haha!) co-operating on our careers. hahahaha.
and therefore, i am BEAT.

as audrey says, this is like the mourning week for results.

worrying is compensation for actually having something to lose.
if we didn't have anything to lose, we wouldn't have a care. but then because we do, we worry our whole lives.
so sometimes i let myself think that maybe it's good to have nothing at all. (how ungrateful, i know)
however, if we had nothing at all, we'd have nothing to lose. in this case, sure, we'll have no worries, but at the same time, we'd have nothing to appreciate.
so i guess we should go on appreciating, and worrying about what we now have.
make sense? hahaha.

well hello, aunt agony.

2008-02-23T22:01:00.003+08:00

today's been a WONDERFUL day i must say!hahaha. basically spent the ENTIRE day just driving around the island with my parents, doing rubbish, buying stuff, having dinner. it was quite enjoyable really, cus we all somehow began to be crazy altogether, and those who know how crazy my family can get, will know it can be quite, well, insane.
ming ming was missing because he's got some crash faculty dance practise thing (so hwa-chong-please ahhahaha : "crash" dance prac) and stj in the night. however, if he were here, he'd be utterly embarrassed, being the shy, self-conscious teenage boy he is. hoho.
but tmr we'll be having lunch together and everything, so i'm quite looking forward to it.
(:

2008-02-23T00:55:00.002+08:00

i have a sudden (or not so sudden actually) urge to travel!
i wanna go away, go to turkey/greece/sydney/czech republic/stockholm/london/spain, just to see something else. i want this enough to want to go to bangkok. actually, phuket would be great. hahahhaa.
it's interfering with my ideas about university. because i want to get out so bad, i think i'm half wanting to study overseas. which happens to be a completely totally unbelievably utterly selfish notion, as i have explained earlier on how me studying abroad would break the family up into bits.
maybe a roadtrip to malaysia will do some good. (:

moving ooooon!
had fun with the rock girls (pei xinyi audrey-missing jia ):) on wednesday! (: hahah it was good to catch up after all this time, and after so many things happened to everyone of us. it's nice to get back in sync with stuff and see how things are going along.hahaha! the only downside was that ganjiajia 's still in malaysia though. but when we tell her what happened it'd be funny all over again.hahahaha

i'm quite glad my dad got to prolong his trip here this time. remember i was lamenting about how i hate it when he has to go back to shanghai? i still hate it, but i like it when he gets to justify a prolonged stay. hahahha. some deal thing from hong kong came along, so he's staying back here at the headquarters to settle them stuff before going back, all completely justified. (: thing is, this deal is actually quite a big thing to us. it's probably gonna determine when and what's gonna be happening in both the short and long term.but i guess whatever will be, will be.

so right now, i'm focusing on looking forward to small, immediate events, for example family lunch on sunday and botanic gardens tmr. (:happy weekends all.

2008-02-20T17:28:00.002+08:00

you know i said i'd look like a kid with short hair?

i take it RIGHT BACK.

i look like kid in SHOULDER length hair okay. ):
those who have visited my home will understand when i say i look like what i looked like when i took that photo with the giant tweety bird in brisbane.
which, somehow is quite hilarious to people like zhaoey and yixiong. both of whom often laugh out loud when they pay visits to the console tables.
so i guess i look funny now.
hahahaha.
although it's not as HORRENDOUS TERRIBLE DISGUSTING HORRIBLE as the end of j1 incident, nevertheless, my intentions of looking more like an eighteen year old just back-fired.
i'm so gonna do something to this.

so superficial, this is all about my hair.sorry!

You're a part time lover and a full time friend

2008-02-20T00:13:00.002+08:00

You're a part time lover and a full time friend
The monkey on you're back is the latest trend.

jieshi tells me we heard this song watching monster's ball waaaay back in year1. i half recall it but juno just rekindled this whole insanity of mine. jieshi if you see this, SEND ME THE SONG THANKYOUVMUCH!

i should really get a job. this waiting for results mode ain't doing too much good to me. and my driving lessons resume only about exactly a week from now, so till then, i'd have plenty (but also absolutely no) time to think about rubbish and suffer this sense of uncertainty.):

and my dad's gonna be going back to chye-nah reaaaally soon, like thursday, maybe? )): i don't like it that china has cardboard paos, obstructed traffic, bad weather, stampedes, pollution and no us. i like it that singapore has us, safe traffic, good weather (most of the time), no shoving whatsoever and us, basically.
but i guess we'll have to deal with it.
which is also why i REALLY REALLY want to stay here in singapore to study, work and everything. i don't think i'd like very much to put my family in three different places.

anyway, i'm off to read the time traveller's wife, and try getting to sleep. (strangely enough, it's become a problem recently.)

2008-02-19T13:33:00.002+08:00

should i cut my hair?
i think i should. my front's getting all floppy. i don't like floppy.
i wanna chop all my hair off, i really do. the bad thing is that i look like a KID in short hair. but I FEEL like i NEED hair above my shoulder.
i can't get a bob, because my head will (very unfortunately)bear an uncanny resemblance to the meringue toadstools martha stewart was making earlier on on tv.
i think i have to settle to doing something else to them locks. (which happens to be really dry right now, given i just went for a swim just now)

because i went for a swim just now in my new swim suit, i now have multiple, weird looking tan lines. i have a cross on my back and newly added strap-tan-lines. hahahaha so gross.

moving onnnnnnn:
i watched juno (told ya i was gonna watch it!) and boy i love ellen page and i love the movie.
i half-expected it to be some sappy sob story about a pregnant teen, but i was very pleasantly surprised! it was NOTHING at all sappy or sob-by. it was instead a funny, multi-dimensional and heart-warming take on the issue. the casting was great, and i now wish i have the entire sound-track to the movie.
EVERYONE should watch it. it's really a movie you'd love. and you'll absolutely fall in love with juno.

everyone's using this ebuddy thing right now. i have no idea how to use it, so could someone educate me?

2008-02-15T17:50:00.002+08:00

i don't get the donut craze, i really don't.
at my place alone, there are two separate boxed of donuts, one from donut factory (perhaps the one that started this fad) and the other from munchy donut (whatever that is, wherever that is). it really is an overkill.
i mean, i LOVE donuts, don't get me wrong, but i just don't see any justifications for the way this crazy fad is spreading. like bubble tea, like that coffee bread thing (of which name i can't even remember), this donut thing is bound to die off and dwindle down to the one or two stores surviving on their customers' (very) occasional cravings. i see so many people capitalizing on this fad, coming up with munchy donut, yummy donut, j.co etc etc. but seriously, how many munchy/yummy/happy donut franchises can the singaporean market support? besides, most of the donuts are all almost the same anyway, so... there really is no reason why this donut craze shouldn't die of soon.

but i guess i'm being a hypocrite, cus as i speak of this, i am myself having an oreo donut. hahahaha. my family's so contributing to this craze.

i would very much like to complain about life right now, but i think i cannot justify any of them complaints.
so, i would say life's been good.

yesterday was valentines. initially i'd posted this whole long cynical, bitter-sounding (yes, only sounding, because i am in no way bitter about being free and happy on vday) about the commercialisation of this day, but i figured i'd better not post it, because as long as everyone's happy, it's all good. (:
since vday's a day when everyone (most at least) is happy, happy we shall continue to be!

2008-02-13T13:32:00.003+08:00

GONG XI FA CAI! and more importantly, SHENG TI JIAN KANG!

so i've finally decided it's time to come type about my life so far.
so far its been good, i have nothing to complain of. the only thing that is really bugging me, applies to all my friends in the same year. we're all anxious about results day, wondering what's taking the MOE so long. (but not for me, i wouldn't mind them taking a while longer. they can very well keep my results slip for all i care!) so..that's really nothing to complain about.

anyway, cny this year has been rather eventful!
the cousins and nephew (all young ones.) are getting so cute.
allow me to illustrate:

melanie, who's my cousin on my dad' side. cute as a button, spunky as a teenager. HAHAHAH. okay so annoying. but anyway she got less shy this year and started entertaining me with her "calculating skills" while over at my grandma's.
there's also my nephew nicholas, but having been hit by a new wave of lethargy, i think i shan't be posting a picture of him. however, he too, got MUCH less bashful and started calling everyone fat, which really was quite entertaining.

other than that, visiting's just been pretty much the same old. i sit, talk, drink, nibble, eat, do not gamble and watch tv. yuuuuuup.

so on my life right now, as you know, i've quit that waste of timeenergyemotions of a job, and therefore, have plenty of free time on my hands. i'm really supposed to go top up my driving account with moo-lah so i can resume my driving lessons but i really haven't. the only conducive thing i've done over these few days of newly gained freedom would be going for a swim yesterday and meeting the best friend for classes.
hahahahaha.
not very conducive, i know.

that's it for now then!
(yes another wave of lethargy just swarmed over me, and i can no longer bring myself to talk about my bore of a life.)

2008-02-06T11:34:00.000+08:00

dita von tease always manages to look surreal.

hahaha i LOVE this picture.
nip/tuck no?

mike ruiz is my favourite photographer right now.
favourite.
his pictures strike me as the modern pop art. they're so colourful and vibrant they almost look like paintings/ animation sometimes.
go check out the fashion photos at his site as well.
the only downside is that i kinda hate those photos of those hiphop artists. all the flashing of money and all? very blatant, too blatant.

2008-02-05T23:23:00.000+08:00

omg i can finally feel the festive cheer!
for one, my mum's still up arranging flowers (and hanging up a billion christmas decoration-like thingys, except they say gongxifacai) and preparing our food for tmr's reunion dinner,whereas my dad's still in his berms watching tv and i'm still wide awake (and willing to be so for a much longer time than usual). ming's also up, but that's nothing new, since he's been nocturnal ever since he started jc life. (what's new, we were all once campy and energetic year ones high on the novelty of actually being semi-old and semi-free).
besides, friends are visiting us tonight (yes at this hour) to send us hampers/just to visit.
haha i really like cny!

i've never liked it until this year.

so anyway, today was a rather good day (finally)!
woke up early freezing because the air conditioner was swtiched on at a ghastly temperature and i didn't have the sense to get up in the middle of the night to adjust it. ended up sleepwalking/sitting/reading in town as i waited for the mum to finish her gym. we didn't get the lunch i owed her cus she was feeling full, so we just ended up spending most of our time hanging around before she treated me to a massage at her friend's place or smth smth. hahaha. so much for wanting to give my mum a treat. but it was good, i was so relaxed later i didn't feel tired when i met the best friend later that night for a really speedy (but really quite enjoyable) dinner!
yupp.
so i guess maybe that's why i'm still so awake right now, after having such an active day.

happy chinese new year everyone!

p.s. starbucks has really good service! today i was getting a hot chocolate and this girl helped me start my day off really well cus she was being so cheery and nice. the other day at the branch at city hall, the guy was nice as well. they should really get credit for their service, especially after i realise how difficult it is to be this cheery and positive when work can get so tiring and frustrating. so, credits to them!

2008-02-03T19:39:00.000+08:00

after being confused for a while, i think i've finally understood some things.
which is really good, because i don't like to wonder (too much).
just in time for the festival.
(:

so.
i guess this is it.
these couple of days have been pretty good, my dad being back and all.
spent the entire of today getting cny stuff, preparing for cny eve dinner and just hanging out.
tmr's gonna be the day i receive my meagre pay from hgs. i'll have to travel all the way down to raffles place to get that little amount of moo-lah. but don't get me wrong, i'll get it back fo'sure. i earned it lugging boxes through gantries, packing shoes, serving high-flying executives.

kenny and i were just talking about school and how we've seemed to have forgotten how to be crazy. we used to be really really good at it, trust me. it's like losing the fun, youthful part of ourselves. and i cannot be more upset. ): and what's ironic is that school life's more stressful than life right now. oh man. what're we gonna do about ourselves when we go to university/start working? we'd all end up as uptight, panty-hose/jacket wearing, stiff and unhappy people.
hahahaha.

2008-01-31T19:18:00.000+08:00

hello today was yet another shitty day at work.

HOWEVER.

i feel extremely empowered right now because i called my boss (on a whim, no less) and told her, "sorry but tomorrow's going to be my last day at work. i don't think i'll be able to continue till cny. thank you though." hahahahaha.
i guess i just felt like the job brought no sense of achievement whatsoever, and i really probably shouldn't continue wasting my time. instead, i should really go get a job i think i may be into. yeapp, so i decided i should cut short the misery(albeit for only two days) and just enjoy the two extra days i regained with my family/friends.

haha!

happy. haven't been this happy in a week. :D
i QUIT.:D

annnnnnyywaaaaay.
there are so many things happening in my life right now, but somehow, unlike before, i don't get so unsettled. i guess i've learn't to adopt the "whatever will be will be" attitude to a higher level. hahaha i don't know if it's good or bad, but i guess we'll see. (:

so driving lessons shall resume, and i shall continue the swimming spree i started in shanghai. maybe, maybe, maybe, even try to start tennis refresher courses!

2008-01-30T17:06:00.000+08:00

today's been the worst day by far.
i shan't elaborate, in case somehow people randomly stumble upon my blog (after having experienced first hand how small the world can really be) and see this.
but all i have to say is, i have (somewhat of) a newfound desire to study really hard in college and get on in life. that's the only good thing that came out of working i guess. (the pay is nothing, minus cpf and all that travelling here and there. yes i travel between two places for work, during work hours. weird, i know.)
working's making me so uptight, because there are so many things to learn (in terms of working itself, and dealing with people around). thank goodness i decided to quit before cny, because otherwise, i'd lose my ability to be sincerely and truthfully happy. hahahahaha.
but seriously, it's good, and necessary experience for everyone.
yupp.

on a not so light note, the twins are flying back today. i'm really bummed i couldn't make it to send them off, or at least have a meal with them before they go off. the next i'll be seeing them would be in august, but by then, school would have started, and who knows how much time i can afford.):

butttt. my dad'll be back this friday for cny, and i'm always glad when the family can be together.
(:

oh oh, one last thing before i go.
i'm reading middlesex right now (yes i get to read cus work is THAT boring) and i read this part that says, "trying with great vitality to die". the first time i read it, i couldn't help but burst out laughing. i mean, we deal with oxymorons all the time everytime, but i can't help but think that this little quote i've quoted here,is something special. i don't often laugh out loud/smile physcially when i read but this one took the cake.
hahaha!
okay anyway, back to making sense, the book is actually quite entertaining. especially in my situation, when i have to sit behind a booth for 2 hours flat, repeating the same things to people who are shopping/not shopping, listening/not listening, browsing through nice/ugly shoes.
(:
so today, before i go, i'd like everyone to read "trying with great vitality to die" once again, and let me know if it's at all funny.

2008-01-28T18:49:00.000+08:00

hello, hello!
well so, the weekend flew by like that and yes, you can bet that i was really upset about it, because i really love my weekends.

but anyway, i've made a decision to quit and stop work just before cny. that's why today i was kinda quiet all day, because i wanted to get an opportunity to inform my boss about it, and also because i felt so terribly bad. i mean,she's been as nice as any boss can get, and my colleagues have been really very welcoming. to make matters worse, i HAD to tell her about it when she was offering a pair of flats to me as "work shoes". aiyah. i hate quitting. (which makes me really worried about myself in future, when i really do join the workforce.) but what's done, is done and i do feel like an immense load has been lifted. (:

on a lighter note, i do look forward to the festive season!

backtracking abit, yesterday we met up with my cousin and his family, which means i got to see nicholas my baby nephew. hahahaha! initially i was just playing with him across the table, until i changed seats with my grandma and got to sit beside him. i ended up getting really distracted through dinner cus that little kid is one hyperactive one. (more so than the kids at kids' loft!hahah) the only bad thing is that his temper's like..woah. after dinner, we were hanging around at paragon, and at one point in time he was running towards me, so i just stood waiting for him and before i knew it, he stopped dead in his tracks and SERIOUSLY unleashed this sharp sharp scream. i was like?!?!?! cus EVERYONE around us turned to look. at that instant, i felt like a kidnapper. hahahaha cus i saw the look on his face and i bet he utilized every single muscle in his body to let out that scream. i hope you can tell i'm reasonably traumatised by that boy. however, i'm still very much won over by his babbling and all that. hahahaha!

moving on, i just saw a clip on this movie called juno (which, coincidentally or not, has a lot in common with the text- juno and the paycock- i studied for an entire year, last year) and i don't want to watch it.
i'm GOING to watch it.
hahaha

yupp so that's all folks. (for today!)

2008-01-25T22:42:00.000+08:00

i'm very glad today's a friday. the only thing common about the current situation of my life and that of the school times, is that i'm always so gratified on fridays. it's just nice to know i won't have to go to work/school the next day and everything.

so anyway we went to visit mama at her place and we all went out (we meaning mummy, myself, an australian cousin visitng, another cousin and grandmaaa) for kuaychap. my mama is the cutest one you can ever get. when she was young she was so pretty okay! i may be biased, but i think she had the face of those girls on the mooncake boxes. hhahahaha. okay yes i'm biased. but you can't blame me, cus she was with me since i was a baby and apparently i first learnt how to speak teochew before english. so it's nice to have her telling me to eat more, stop working/studying and take a break, drink soup and all that grandma stuff. haha (:

i never really had an intention to blog, so i guess i'm out of stuff to say.
mmm.. so.. have a good weekend!
out!

(i over-counted the number of skinny ties i needed, so i shall be selling off the extra one soon, so if anyone's interested/knows anyone who may be, let me know -email,facebook,text,msn! i'll be posting a picture of it soon. (: )

/edit!

i read this somewhere, i can't remember where -
never give anyone who regards you as an option, the priority.
so true right!i think it really does apply practically.
in my life till now, i've been stressed out by friends who, now that i realise, never treated me as one in return. these are the kind of things that tire one out. might as well channel all the love and energy you have to family and friends who you know do appreciate, or better, reciprocate all that back no?
so i'm just saying, this thing i read, is amazing. it's put everything into perspective in one short sentence. it doesn't only apply to friendship, but also to other forms of relationships, work and personal choice. it's all about love for self. (and judging from the number of depressed, unhappy people there are, love for self is seriously lacking.)
if everyone lived by this, i think many people will be happier. not that it's easy, but i'll try as well. (: there's only one life to live, might as well try and make it a happy and rewarding one right?

hahaha we'll try, we'll try.

2008-01-24T21:22:00.000+08:00

ok go - treadmill dance
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aeeR4Vnvs8U

watch it! hahahaha it's actually quite entertaining. i mean, you need TRAINING to pull this off. the song's pretty okay as well (too bad i can't hear it on my computer right now - i watched it on mtv a while ago). credits to the slightly random, but nonetheless creative, idea.

so today work was quite crazy. the crowd was nothing like the previous few days. they couldn't stop coming in. and each of them tried on a thousand and one shoes, in various different sizes. by the time they were gone, shoes were littered all over the shop. and yes i had a good time putting them all back. the thing that made today's work actually somewhat fulfilling is that i managed to get two (record for me okay!) ladies to buy shoes. ahahahaha. i'm so not cut out for this.

mum's been telling me to get an office job. i may consider, but the only concern is that i'd get bored doing an office job sitting there all day, after having gotten use to running around, talking to people, and not to mention, giving out fliers (where interaction in the form of nice friendly smiles suggesting "take this flier it's gonna benefit you" and thank yous are aplenty). but to gain experience, i guess i might think about it.

aaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnyyyyyywaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay, o levels are out! so.. i'm hoping everyone's happy. (: after doing the a levels, the o levels feel so insignificant. but i guess at that point in time, the olvls meant everything to us as well (just like the way we all get so freaked by the idea of the alvls getting released right now). the only thing that can possibly make this any less daunting, is the consolation that if one door closes, another one opens. sooner or later. oh well.

on to another subject, the recession in america's scaring me slightly. hahahaha. i never worried about that before ever in my life (maybe because i was just more ignorant) but anyway, now i am, for various reasons.
(can you tell i'm injecting this random fact to make up for what seems to me like a really mundane, tired and overused description of my day? ha ha.)

2008-01-22T09:38:00.000+08:00

i have to rant before i start getting ready for work.

okay anyway, this morning i read yan's message about the o level results (yes, it's coming this thursday omg omg.) and i freaked out, all over again. WHAT ABOUT THE A LEVELS?! AHH!haahha. i really am terrified. my mind's already accepted the entire notion of the results being released at the end of febuary, so if i realise it is otherwise, i need time to deal with it all over again. aiya aiya aiya.

aiyah!
the downside to life, (which really is a permanent fixture, if you think about it) is that life really is all about waiting. during the a levels, we were waiting for it to be over, after the alevels, we're waiting for the results, and then we proceed to wait for university applications, and it just goes on.
but i guess that is also what makes the good things that come with waiting, better.

haha, i'm such a fickle.
but still, i'm really thankful for all the blessings i've had, in the form of my family and friends. otherwise, i wouldn't know how i'd deal with myself!hahah!

yesterday, today, tomorrow and the few following days

2008-01-21T18:30:00.000+08:00

met up with the best friend yesterday, for cny shopping. (: but everything turned out to be short of our expectations. ): we were all sooo tired by the end of our shopping trip, we just felt like dying.
nevertheless, we happened to get onto the shuttle bus (from millenia walk to city hall mrt), just like we did last last year. and that, called for a session of commemorative cam-whoring.haha! (just that this year, we're better dressed - we were in school uniforms- and a year older)
then after, it was off to chijmes to celebrate cheryl's birthday! we ended up at harry's, and sat around chatting before heading off to starbucks at city hall.went home tired and aching, dreading work the next day.

and before you know it! the "next day" is today!hahaha.
anyway today work was relatively fun.
i was rather sad about the whole stack of fliers i had to give out today (i happen to be quite a good and efficient flier-giver, it seems!hahahaaha!) especially since the whole of raffles place seemed to be suffering from the monday blues and had no intention of shopping whatsoever. but it ended up turning out quite interesting because:

jieshit and her friend dropped by, and it was just nice to talk to someone you're familiar with when you're clad in an all black outift absorbing ever ounce of sunlight that fell in that square and when everyone walking by you looks so mad and bitchy.
i was completely entertained by these weight loss promoters hanging around. first it was the "expressions" girls. i feel really bad for them, because it seems like it was part of their jobs to wear white mini skirts and tied up shirts that britney spears invented in her peak. and then it was the kilo-buster promoters. (they were guys) they were reaaallly funny because they were all over-built, over-tanned and over-confident. there was this guy who was seriously HUGE (somewhat like the hulk) and who decided his outfit shall complement the expressions girls cus he wore this really tttttttiiiigggghhhhtt pair of white skinnies plus a similarly MINISCULE tank top. it was nothing like the judelaw/petedoherty sleek skinny look. it was like the exact opposite of it. it was the epitome of a num spokesperson. to make matters worse/better/funnier, when rihanna's please don't stop the music started playing, he started doing some techno looking bodywave thingy in the middle of rafflesplace. omg. i turned around at that instant and almost died trying not to burst out laughing. then after that THREE of them appeared and decided they wanted to exchange fliers and encouraged me to buy kilo-buster for my boyfriend. HAHAHA. i was like omg. okay i will thank you then i left because i was afraid i'd just laugh out loud and also because i finished all my fliers. (told you! good flier-giver. hahahaha)

anyway i was happy after that cus i didn't have anymore fliers to give out so i got to stay in the shop, and see jieshit and friend once again, cus she was SO SWEET she bought me a cupcake from marmalade pantry ( i gobbled it up when the customers went away). THANK YOU SHITTEEEHH.!! my bosses thought it was some guy. hahahaha so retarded.

also i got to know the colleagues better and they were teasing me all. funny. at least i don't feel so uptight around them anymore.

yupp so that's it today. wednesday's my basict theory test. and saturday is my sats (i really have to call and check if i'm even still taking it!). ):
but other than that, life's good! :D

so till then, take a look at this! nice. (:

2008-01-17T19:50:00.000+08:00

okay so today was my first day of work.
hahahaha.
oh well, it's just a 4 hour kinda job, so i guess i don't have much to say, other than being really beat. (and i've decided to NEVER wear my black pumps to work. NEVVVEEERRR!my feet's gross now) went down to orchard to meet the family friends after work, but was waaay too tired to play. so i basically walked around all stoned. (they didn't recognise me at first, dressed in the office wear all)

today i was just thinking about life in j2, and i've decided that i'd gone through a year that somewhat resembled a midlife crisis. it was a year when all i cared about was getting through it, and maintaining a pro-longed sense of balance and stability as best as i could. minimum drama, little extreme feelings, almost no thrills (and in the meantime, hopefully less spills). it was completely dedicated to prep-ing myself for a stressful year.
but now, i think i've gotten a little sick of that. (:

my driving lessons are kind of stalled for the moment, cus i haven't taken my basic theory. only after i PASS my basic theory, does kallynn poon become a provisional driver of motorcars.haha! and based on the e-trials i had the previous week, i don't feel like i'm putting enough effort into trying to pass that test of mine.
speaking of passing tests, i'm not trying (AT ALL!) to do better for my coming SATs either. :D

now i shall go shower, and try to stay awake. (:

2008-01-15T08:24:00.000+08:00

holland v yesterday with the best friend was good, excellent, wonderful.
hahahaha.
we had fun, i'm sure we did. it was like walking around in sydney/london/la. that's how laid-back and "chilled-out" we felt. had cha cha cha (i'm serious, it's the name of the restaurant) for dinner, and i must say, i quite like fajitas (fa-he-tas, if i'm not wrong) but i don't quite like cold rock ice cream in the combination of vanilla,chocolate,cookie dough and maltesers. (BUT i love the swing set.which is probably ruined by now, after the way we played with it.)
the whole situation after we separated was also nothing short of hilarious. :D haha!
i <3 yan, no secret.

ANYWAAAAY.
i'm feeling quite weird right now. slept rather late, staying up talking to my mum cus i haven't seen her properly in a long time (since i've been back, pretty much). which i now realise is bad, cus i'm beginning that bronchitis thing again. ):
i think i'd better stay home and get some proper r&r today before i don't get to celebrate cherylteo's birthday.
:D

some random stuff-
i went for dental yesterday (yes, like finally) and dr djeng's still as nice and chirpy. of course he gave me a semi-hardtime for not wearing my retainers 24/7, but he gave way, and insisted i start wearing them after dinner every night. he also adjusted them retainers, and now they feel like braces again. but i'm not complaining! retainers over braces, my dear friend.
the thing is, they've moved to lucky plaza (i heard the entire upper levels of mount e have been converted to become a mental institution) and i really hate walking in that place. just feels weird?especially after the whole thing about orchard shopping centre and their pseudo massage parlours. of course lucky plaza probably ain't that bad, but i still don't like the idea of walking in alone. hahaha. it's just a strange feeling lah. it sort of resembles the feeling i had when we had to go to orchard sc to get our dance stuff? shady.

WHICH REMINDS ME about something i noticed during my trip to shanghai. everytime i travel on the roads, i'd see strange pink accented "hair/massage parlours". of course they sound innocent enough, but really, no no no no. everytime i look in, there'd be many many girls (all dressed in skimpy clothes - and also their favourite, white pvc boots) just sitting opposite one another by the door.it's also no coincidence that all of such similar places are lighted with pink- red lights. i mean please, it's obviously whatever we're thinking it is. shampoo girls and hair dressers don't have to wear mid-riff bearing tops and mini skirts to cut our hair, much less in winter.
the issue's just that these places are always situated in residential areas. i realised it really is getting more and more blatant, this whole sex industry thing. it's probably right to say it's proliferating there in shanghai.they've officially moved out of designated redlight districts and began re-settling and re-building as friendly neighbourhood pitstops. let's just presume they're preparing for the beijing olympics, shall we?
hahaha. yes so that was just the second random observation. if you do go to shanghai, you'll understand.

off to try getting back to bed. (:

2008-01-13T11:38:00.000+08:00

met up with the family friends, over at xilingxiaolingnicklaus' place. i was sick and tired (in a literal sense, not the expression!hahaha) so i couldn't really enjoy myself. i spent half my time stoning on the daybed and coughing up a lung.
coffee club lunch with kennnny (who's looking healthy and very different somehow hahaha!). it was good to see everyone. (:
walked around, talked, sat around.
last but definitely not the least, meeting with the best frieeeenddddd. (((: you know i love you.

life's been hectic, catching up with friends and doing the things i've set out to do - such as driving lessons and looking out for work. it really IS a different phase in life, though i do miss going to school quite a bit. i guess i miss the stability of school life, as well as the opportunity to be with happy people (though not all the time happy, but at least i enjoyed the company i had in school). nonetheless, the excitement of getting a job, earning my own money and taking up lessons (the next will probably be tennis lessons!) is really quite exciting. hahaha! moreover, everyone i know is going through totally different stages of their lives, which makes it a mixture of different phases, and which adds up to something quite interesting. (:

life's good, not perfect, but good. i hate to make it mathematical, but i've realised that sometimes, some things really are mutually exclusive. you either take one for the team, or you let it all sink, or you gain some as you lose some. it's impossible to have everything, i realised. it's way too tiring anyway. nevertheless, i think things eventually become okay, because we all learn to deal with it. not because everything works out, not because every problem has a solution (many do, but not all i believe), but because we face it. and when we learn to do so, it's where i think we emerge different people.
therefore, i am so very glad i have friends and loved ones that stick with me no matter what. for that, i am a happy girl. (:

the other part of my now favourite poem -
Oh! The Places You'll Go!

You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes
You can steer yourself
any direction you choose.
You're on your own. And you know what you know.
And YOU are the guy who'll decide where to go.

You'll look up and down streets. Look 'em over with care.
About some you will say, "I don't choose to go there."
With your head full of brains and your shoes full of feet,
you're too smart to go down any not-so-good street.

And you may not find any
you'll want to go down.
In that case, of course,
you'll head straight out of town.

It's opener there
in the wide open air.

Out there things can happen
and frequently do
to people as brainy
and footsy as you.

And when things start to happen,
don't worry. Don't stew.
Just go right along.
You'll start happening too.

OH!
THE PLACES YOU'LL GO!

You'll be on your way up!
You'll be seeing great sights!
You'll join the high fliers
who soar to high heights.

You won't lag behind, because you'll have the speed.
You'll pass the whole gang and you'll soon take the lead.
Wherever you fly, you'll be the best of the best.
Wherever you go, you will top all the rest.

Except when you don' t
Because, sometimes, you won't.

I'm sorry to say so
but, sadly, it's true
and Hang-ups
can happen to you.

You can get all hung up
in a prickle-ly perch.
And your gang will fly on.
You'll be left in a Lurch.

You'll come down from the Lurch
with an unpleasant bump.
And the chances are, then,
that you'll be in a Slump.

And when you're in a Slump,
you're not in for much fun.
Un-slumping yourself
is not easily done.

2008-01-08T21:02:00.000+08:00

hello singapore, i am back in singapore.
i am quite happy, but quite tired.
the flight was shaky, but i watched ratatouille, gameplan and secret (some stupid jay chou movie i couldn't finish watching cus i don't like him) so it was a pleasant flight overall.
tmr friends are coming over, but i'm not even sure who. hahaha.
i ate a lot of wang wangs on the plane.
singaproe is sweltering, compared to shanghai.
i missed ming back in shanghai, and i still don't see him home cus he's beesee with orientation.
now i miss my dad.
but i missed my fwends here. being there was like solitary confinement, except when i buy stuff, or during family friend visits.
i'm very tired.
i'm a bit cross-eyed.
there's a fake rose on my desk, complete with fake water droplets, and i cannot remember where that came from. there's a guitar amp in my study, and wang wangs. i shall go discover what happened over the past month in this home of mine.
but before i do that, i have to unpaaaack.

OUT!

Oh! The Places You'll Go!

2007-12-30T12:25:00.000+08:00

Oh! The Places You'll Go!

You will come to a place where the streets are not marked.
Some windows are lighted. But mostly they're darked.
A place you could sprain both you elbow and chin!
Do you dare to stay out? Do you dare to go in?
How much can you lose? How much can you win?

And IF you go in, should you turn left or right...
or right-and-three-quarters? Or, maybe, not quite?
Or go around back and sneak in from behind?
Simple it's not, I'm afraid you will find,
for a mind-maker-upper to make up his mind.

You can get so confused
that you'll start in to race
down long wiggled roads at a break-necking pace
and grind on for miles across weirdish wild space,
headed, I fear, toward a most useless place.
The Waiting Place...

...for people just waiting.
Waiting for a train to go
or a bus to come, or a plane to go
or the mail to come, or the rain to go
or the phone to ring, or the snow to snow
or waiting around for a Yes or a No
or waiting for their hair to grow.
Everyone is just waiting.

Waiting for the fish to bite
or waiting for wind to fly a kite
or waiting around for Friday night
or waiting, perhaps, for their Uncle Jake
or a pot to boil, or a Better Break
or a sting of pearls, or a pair of pants
or a wig with curls, or Another Chance.
Everyone is just waiting.

such a nice poem no? you'll never guess where it came from. (: google it and find out.
anywaaaaaaaaaaaaay. life's fine and dandy, ming's left for singapore already, so it's getting a little dull here.
on the plus side however, family friends will be arriving from the us tonight, so it means i'll probably be occupied till i go back on the eigth. which, by then, would mean that i have to settle my driving lessons, basic theory test, and the end jan SATs.
what exactly am i doing with my life, i really do not know.hahaha i think i'd just bitten more than i can ever chew. oh well, it's probably the worry-some me speaking, being unwilling to take driving lessons more than once. (such a drag!)

i heard it's raining most of the time in singapore?
shanghai's just gotten MUCH colder, literally overnight. christmas day felt pretty good, just chilly, but towards christmas night, shang-the-hai's wind started lifting skirts, ruining umbrellas, making noses run, freezing car seats. it's been getting progressively colder (but less gloomy and foggy. in fact it's never been this sunny!) and when i went for a swim this morning (in an indoor heated pool filled with old ladies and kids learning to swim) the wind was so icy, my face started to hurt. (it's like natural face lift/botox, cus you feel like you can't smile, can't lift your brows, can't wiggle your nose.)

whatever it is, hope everything's going well!
(i'm officially sickof xiaolongbaos, but i've got a new found love - winter vegetables - you have no idea how good they are, till you actually try them!)

LOVE from Shanghai!

2007-12-12T19:02:00.000+08:00

HELLO.
first off, just a disclaimer. china seems to have blocked off access to blogspot (but still allowing postings) so i can't read any comments or tags on my blog and therefore, cannot reply them. so if anything, EMAIL ME! or facebook me! or msn messageme!

hahaha.
okay, next, a note to can the knee who is soon to serve the country: BYEEE KENNY! all will go well. like i said, when i get back, we shall all meet up and by then, you'll no longer be complaining about your hair (because you don't have any) or your fats (it never existed but by then you'd be as skinny as amy winehouse). hahaha. so take care!

anyway, shang the hai has been pretty good. the weather is quite fantastic (albeit the rain and mud) cus it isn't freezing yet. it's slightly marsh-like (yes, like the marshes in great expectations) with all the foggy-ness and mist, but i guess it makes the place all the better suited for good rest. (:
anyway i've shopped quite a great deal over the past few days, partly summer sale clothing, but mostly winter stuff to replenish my primarysix-ish winter stash.
other than shopping, we've also been entertaining friends who have come on business or just came to visit and explore. we're expecting more! and i'm quite psyched for their visits, cus i can't wait to catch up. (:
other than that, i've just been sleeping in, so the days here have been really short for me. i barely get to do much, and it hasn't been as action-packed as i anticipated it to be. all the better, since i like it slow and relaxing. besides, my room here has everything i need (books i brought over - brave new world, memory keeper's daughter, highway code guidebooks- and a camera to doodle with)
so life's just been pretty much like that. the only possible downsides are that i'm a little sick, and that going out for meals in china have made me quite the worried wart, especially everytime i think of the cardboard bao and the mattel incident.

so, if i can get anyone anything, just holler, and i'll try my best. (:
in the meanwhile, take care, don't slip in the year end rain.

2007-12-09T01:11:00.000+08:00

greetings from shanghai!

i've arrived safe and sound, and i had a blast on the plane watching failure to launch and an audrey tatou movie (hunting and gathering). thank goodness the food was reallyedible too! i love smoked salmon, though my family wouldbeg to differ.

and as i have mentioned before, we went to bellagio. though the food kinda sucked. hahaha.

so tmr, it's off to shopping for winter clothing (my closet's filled with slightly thicker summer clothing, dresses and jeans) and food to fill the fridge.

for now, be safe, and happy holidays!

albeit the wonderfulweather and all,i already miss singapore!

MANY MANY THANKS!

2007-12-07T21:46:00.000+08:00

shout outs, and thank yous go here-

FIRST,
thank you best friend, thank you for today! it was MUCHO FUNO and i'm so glad that after so long. we're still the same. i will miss you a lot, and everything i wanted to say was in the text i sent you. and also the precious card i used. LOVE. :D

SECOND,
i miss you, other best friend!!! ARE YOU ON GROUND LEVEL YET? COME ONLINE. or i will poke you till you die on facebook! hahahaha.

THIRD,
yay thank you five arms, metres and legs! i liked the dinner a lot and it was nice talking again after such a long period of stress and not climbing (hahaha on my part). thanks audrey for the pretty pretty pin (it's on my pouch now :D), file and zhendongriII hahaha!!!! thanks xinyi for the YUMMY cheesecakessss!!! :D sorry five arms you're always keeping me updated even though i've been absent so much. ): AND five heads you brought your head to malaysia i didnt even know!! sorrrryyyy. have fun there! (:(:

ahhhh. i'm such a happy girl today. i feel so thankful for the friends and loved ones in my life, i feel i don't deserve it. i have no right to complain, therefore, i shall simply continue being happy.]

tmr's my flight over to shanghai! weirdly enough, i look forward to bad plane food, and small screen movie screenings. hahaha!

i'm looking forward to the many things i have listed. but new on the list, (and at the top of it) is that i need to find gifts for all them people back in singapore. (: you people just wait and see!

oh and to guy friends heading off to ns, best of luck! when i get back, all them guys will be bald, skinny-er and darker. hahaha. hard to imagine, really.

prom

2007-12-07T00:05:00.000+08:00

HAHAHA favourite-est picture of the night. we completely jumped onto lynette.
just LOOK at her smile, sucha a pimp. hahaha and kenny? hahaha. HELLOOOO.
JIESHIT. who turned out to be the only person who stayed over in the end. nevertheless. : D
zhaoeyy and jieshit's finger shadow. unflattering, but neeevvveerrrmind that. prom photos are always meant to suck.

prom was kinda lousy.
food sucked, tables were screwed up, small hall, bad emcees, didn't pay any attention.
but it was fun taking pictures (and jumping onlynette) and walking around.
nothing much.
hahaha.
like i said prom photos are meant to suck, so.. there you go. three unflattering photos for you.
(best fwend yixiong, there you go. our femininity on display. hahahah)

tmr's hongting's flight. ):
aiyah.

2007-12-03T23:26:00.000+08:00

i actually thought of buying this dress! it's cute, i don't care. very hairspray-ish, eh?

speaking of which, i watched hairspraaayyy at home today. (thanks for the dvd you know whos!) and it sure is a happy movie. (think tracy turnblad belting WELCOME TO BALTIMORE!!! and it'll make you the happy!) i have to say, i think john travolta stole all the limelight with playing tracy turnblad's mum. the character he played is truly larger than life, both literally and metaphorically. the best comic moments were during her-his scenes, and IF you don't think of edna turnblad as john travolta, you'll find the part where she and her husband dance on the roof really heart-warming. thank goodness for the directors who had the sense to have them not kiss at the end of that scene because doing that would just be going..slightly overboard for me.

nevertheless, i dislike link larkin. pesky little character, poseur! and it didn't help that when i watched the cinema version, girls were sighing (LITERALLY, AUDIBLY) everytime he did something sort of sweet for tracy. for eg, lying in her bed and singing something that resembled a love song. big no no there. first, DO NOT, do not lie on the girl's bed, any girl's bed (esp with all that hairgel and all). secondly, it's inappropriate for a guy to wear that much makeup.
i sound like i'm jealous of him, but really i'm not. i just dislike the way the guy's (shit i forgot his real name!) portrayed in the media and in hsm. or maybe it's just that i dislike the fact that he was gq magazine's heartthrob of the year. ew.

other (kallynn's) candidates would be :
jonathan rys meyer (if that's how you spell it)
wentworth miller
patrick dempsey (SAFE CHOICE.)
milo ventimiliarahlala ( i dont know how to spell his last name. just have to know he's the emo fringe HAWT power absorbing doctor in HEROES)

matt damon, out.
brad pitt, out.
ben affleck, out.
ashton kutcher, out.

- how superficial (:.
but i think i can afford a bit of this for a few more months.
i can, afterall, justify myself with a year's worth of hard work and deep thinking.
haha!
(secretly, between you and i, i miss reading the great gatsby, and only that book mind you. great expectations, duchess of malfi, sean ocasey, ESPECIALLY wilfred owen, can collect dust in the black garbage bag i've chucked them in)

2007-12-02T23:22:00.000+08:00

haha smth random i saved from when i was de-stressing during the a levels.

moving on, today was a pretty good (but lethargic) day! spent all afternoon with the grams, the family, and a small part of the extended family having lunch at the straits kitchen.
its got quite a unique concept (featuring local street food like charkuayteow, peranakan and indian fares etc) and i guess the food's pretty good, so.. do try it out if you're craving for local delicacies, easy and all rolled into one place.

onto a completely unrelated subject, i had my brows done (by none other than the mother, no less) and i think i look absolutely like a door bitch.somehow i'm amazed at how a little thing done to me can make me look quite like a different person. so i'm just hoping it grows out faster. ahahahha. i really do look bitchy now. and i look very awake, perpetually awake, too awake and alert. probably contributing to the sharpness of it all. hahaa.

points to note (for today)

2007-12-01T07:36:00.000+08:00

hello, i barely had sleep last night, so i'll do this in point form (and possibly continue doing so, if this experience proves more convenient/more grammatically accurate/time-saving) :

i'm sick now
but i wanna watch the simpsons movie on the portable dvd player
i miss lazing around the living room
NOTE TO JIESHI: i set up the livejournal account! i shall secretly text you the details. TEXT YOU! - have you bought the macaroons? good, no?
i changed my SATs test date (which explains WHY i'm sitting here, right now. i hope it actually works cus i sorta gave them my dad's credit card no.)
i'm starving, i don't know why. i had a lamianxiaolongbao meal for dinner last night
i don't wanna do my brows, re-paint my nails, blow my hair, wear my heelsanddress, put on makeup for prom. don't want to.
i'm starving.
i want to go to shanghai and shop
i want to learn how to cook, clean, wash, sew, iron (magically without effort)
cannot be bothered with anything else right now.

2007-11-30T11:43:00.000+08:00

first off,
happy birthday audreeeeyyyy!!!
haha! i don't know where you are now! are you still in japan??

so i got what i wanted, and spent an entire day at home yesterday, drifting in and out of sleep.
sweet. (:
but the thing was that we sent tati off in the morning (and in the meantime saw charmaine and my brother's senior at the airport). ): i do miss her. but i'm glad she's returning home for happy reasons, and i really do hope that she'll get married and be even happier. she's one of the few people who has the sweetest, most longlasting relationship i've ever come across. her and her boyfriend met 16 years ago and i think ever since, they've never been with anyone else. i'm really amazed at how they sustained their relationship over the years, especially when they went their separate ways to work. i'm sure she'd be happy. (:

on the other hand, the father came back the same night, and we headed down to the hawker at ecp (lagoon is it?) for dinner. like bellagio is post-flight ritual in shanghai, lagoon is post-flight ritual in singapore.

moving on, it was a mistake signing up for tmr's sats. RAAHH. i SAID i'd study, but surprise surprise, i haven't bought the book i'm supposed to be studying. AHH OH WELL.
hahaha. really, it's an impossible feat trying to get a post- a levels student to look at books and be studious again. mugging is like chewing glass to me right now. i really don't want to have to bother myself with that jsut yet.
and i sort of have to find out how to get my butt to st francis methodist?
i signed up last minute, so there weren't any spots left except there. BOO.

oh! and i really can't believe that so many things are happening next week. prom, yan flying back, hongting flying off, me flying off. AHH. we're everywhere.

and i still don't have my tv back. ):
so sleepovers can't work out jsut yet.

last random scattered thought: i'm gonna go sign up for the highway code, possibly today. :DD
i can't WAAAIITTT to drive! especially since the parents will be spending most of their time in shanghai next year, i'd get to hijack the car more. heh heh.

2007-11-29T00:01:00.000+08:00

when -
i feel like i'm out of things to buy,
i dread going out,
i crave home-cooked food,
need to sleep in and want to do so,
feel like i'm missing out on tv,
want to read my new books -
i know that i've been over-scheduling my post- a levels days with activities.
seriously, i have not been home a full day ever since the papers ended. i've been out every single day, i swear.
it's crazy fun, but it's crazy hectic too!

i need some alone time to regenerate some measure of boredom before i actually treasure my outings. otherwise i'm just gonna get more and more bored by outside food and shopping.
hahaa
this is so horrible!
what happened to all that talk about going out, hanging around, shopping, eating, watching movies, having sleepovers!
my tv's spoilt, so i don't get to watch tv and that strikes out hanging around, watching home movies and having sleepovers already.
ah well.
(:
i shall finish reading the memory keeper's daughter.
and send tati off early tmr morning. ))))))))):

i kinda can't wait for the 8th, when i actually fly off. i miss being on a plane, and i miss the cold weather in shanghai.
i like the idea that i'd be going to bellagio (it's something we have to do after each flight to shanghai) for some taiwanese porridge and peanut smoothie. and i like having to dig out my winter clothing. and i like freezing on the car. hahaha.
but i hate hate hate HATE and absolutely abhor the shanghainese airport.
and i hate it when the weather makes me all tired and groggy. and i become reduced to mush.
and i hate being out of touch with the rest of the world. i always return finding out about new couples, new breakups, people doing so many things while i'm away, and missing out on the christmas sales! and i hate to shop there because i don't need any winter clothing, unless i'm gonna be going overseas for university.

but i do love just going to carrefoure with the family. (:
today this chinese guy asked where "jia le fu" was. jieshi and cheryl were both stunned and i didn't register that in singapore, no one knew carrefoure as "jia le fu" until later on, after i pointed in the direction of the supermart. hahaha. he asked the right shanghai-mei yo.

2007-11-26T22:36:00.000+08:00

today was fun. (:
the skirt-mannequin episode, the dinner, the shopping. fun. (:

so..in about a couple of hours' time, i'd be 18.
no biggie, doesn't feel any different. i still feel the same.

the only difference would probably be that i don't have to borrow anyone's ic anymore. i'm legal. (:
haha i'm so over my birthday.

and i'm so tired from today!
g'night!

2007-11-24T23:22:00.000+08:00

these couple of days have been nothing but pure funnnnnn. :D
it was great seeing the bestests after two whole months. nothing's changed, but everything's changed, you know what i mean?
we're still the same crazy people when we're together, talking about everything there is to talk about, doing the craziest things, just being us.
but as individuals i think we've changed somewhat. especially in the context of this year. it's been so hectic and so confusing an experience we've all changed in the process, and i hope it's for the better. personally, i think it's for the better. like we were just looking at this polaroid-ish photo that we took just the day before our jc lives started and comparing it to the way we looked just now when we realised, oh boy, we've changed so much it's amazing. and just within a short span of two years (which by the way conveniently passed by just like that).

anywaaaaaaaaay. it was INCREDIBLE meeting up with them.
had good food, had good fun, had ama-ching company which i missed so much.
sigh. (((((:
my feet never hurt as much before! all the walking etc etc etc.
and imma go crash, dead beat yo!
but it was all so worth it.

THANK YOU M'DARLINGS.

2007-11-22T21:35:00.000+08:00

i solved my prom issues for good, by buying a dress today.
it's black, it's sort of blue.
if gohyixiong's reads this, i think he'd be laughing his head off (for goodness knows what reason/s).
it's not prom-y per se, it's just a dress i'd wear a billion other times i guess?
so.. makes it worth the moo-lah. (:
best fweeeeeeeend of mine, mr goh, are you having a good time now? hahaha.
i really don't get why it's so hilarious. other people have seen me in dresses, funny, not funny?
hahaha oh well.

oh and on a side note, to dress buyers, if you've bought any blue-black, strap, sort of empire-lined dress, be prepared to be my new best fwend on the 5th dec 2007. we shall cook up an incredible story for the amazing coincidence. especially in the context of the CRAZY number of dresses available in town. SEE-REE-YOURS-LY, dress shopping has never been this easy. maybe it's just the christmas season coming up? but really, wanna get a decent dress? get it like RIGHT NOW.

oh onto a completely unrelated topic, i was just walking about town with the mother, the brother and the tatik today, and i realised how this year's christmas decorations paled in comparison to last year's? well except for tangs. i kinda hated it's decorations last year, too colourful, too gaudy. this year's is pretty nice, silvery, white, snowflake-themed and all. but somehow, i just don't feel it, you know what i mean? it's pretty and all, but every year it gets less alluring (i mean the only time fake snow and giant lighted snowflakes were alluring was when i was 4 and took photos with the goodwood park tree - the rockefeller centre's christmas tree of s'pore). my point is, every year i get less excited for the season?
my christmas goes like this:
i like seeing mark and spencer put out there various christmas log cakes, puddings, fruit cakes and all; i adore getting lost in the crazy christmas tree decorations in the middle of paragon; i like laughing at the fake snow that pours across orchard road; i'm accustomed to spending christmases in un-christmas-y shanghai (unless you go to xintiandi with all the expatriates or go to a bar/club/lounge/party) and having to buy those weird styrofoam pseudo-snow sprays so that ming and i can sprawl ugly illegible greetings on the windows to our neighbours; i lovvveee nice alternative versions of nice traditional christmas songs (i heard a jazz one today and i liked it alot!); i don't like missing the friends in singapore (but i like it that the chances of me bumping into people i know in shanghai arelike 0.0000001%, unlike s'pore); i love it that everytime i travel along the orchard road strip (hahaha sounds like the lasvegas strip), i think of the time when i was 4 i got so excited with the christmas tree i took a trillion photos of it; i'm especially intrigued by the new starbucks flavours they promote for the season.

that's about all.
but there's more.
i think?
verdict - i still secretly love the season.
but because i am less and less attracted to the decorations etc etc, maybe it means i'm growing up and the child in me is dying away slowly. (aw danngggg) HAHAHAHAHA.

oh well. i'm tirrrreeeeeddd.
and 'tis seeing the bestests tmr that makes me the excited. :D

OUT!

2007-11-21T21:06:00.000+08:00

pure, pure, pure joy.
:D
hello world, you lookin' fine and dandy today.

2007-11-20T18:56:00.000+08:00

so the fifteenth flew by just like that,
and the 21st is coming up. TOMORROW. hahahaha!
:DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
you have NO IDEA how glad i am yo!
the a levels was an absolute nightmare, and studying for it was the ultimate pain.
and you have NO IDEA how little i care for lit!

i cannot wait cannot wait to go out with the bestests on the 23rd and 24th, cannot wait cannot wait to go out with the crazy class people (and watch the hossan leong christmas musical!), cannot wait cannot wait to hit shang-the-hai and experience the beauty of havingabsolutelynothingtodobutgooutorstoneorwatchdvds, cannot wait cannot wait to go insane with my family full scale, cannot wait cannot wait to know that i can wake up at unearthly hours and not be burdened with any thought of work or stress.

THIS IS THE LIFE, MY FRIENDS.
the life comes into effect the moment the fierce scary examiner barks "put your pens down!".

THE JOY!
hahaha. i'm incoherent, and i think the disturbing number of "cannot wait"s and "haha"s is testament enough.

btw. ming-the-sheen is officially the aunty killer. i swear all the aunties want a piece of the ming. my mum's friends have officially crowned him the "shuai ge", as much as i think it's hilarious cus everytime they do that he'd be all bashful and modest (he is VERY seldom this modest, i tell you), and because i just can't see why ming-the-sheen is the "shuai ge". to me, he's more cute than "shuai" cus he isn't exactly the chiselled good-looking sort of guy. he's sort of got a bit of baby fat left on him, when he walks he looks like he's lumbering about and honestly, he cannot care less about the way he looks (he didn't even go shopping for his prom). hahaha. but i guess he's cute and pinchable, aunty-friendly kinda character. a little bit geeky, enjoys food a great deal. a catch more for his future mother-in-law more than for his wife.
before i end up sounding like i'm putting up an advert for my brother, i'd better stop at this.
though i say he is an idiot (in a nice way lah), he's a good brother i guess.
and btw, he INSISTS (it's based entirely on his own will. no influences, nothing) on getting married by THIRTY. BY BY BY BY.
i'm the elder one and i have no such notion in my head.
the only idea i have about my marriage (if even any) and domestic life is that i wanna name my daughter erin/abby (hello i wanted to name her alex initially) and my son john.
MAYBE ONLY.
hahaha. who knows what'll happen no?

2007-11-17T16:49:00.000+08:00

today's been yet another good day.
rested, lazed around, watched an unhealthy amount of bad television, and even had a try at guitar hero 3! (i kinda suck, especially when i'm not using the proper thing for the game)

anyway, my mum's lamenting about me wasting two years studying for the sodding a levels. haha. you know when my mum says that, it's true.
think about it, what IS the point! today i was clearing out all my shiz (excluding lit, but that will be soon as well) and it just hit me, i spent two entire years of my life around this pile of badly copied, school-printed, vanadalized and crumpled notes like my life really depended on it.

but i guess going to vj has helped me learn a lot more than i would have otherwise.

socially, i think i've learnt to deal with a variety of people. coming here was truly torturous for me initially. it was a completely different kind of social environment i had in st nicholas, even less the schools i used to be in.

i've learnt to take things lightly, and take myself less seriously for one. (which really helps in making me a happier person)

for the rest, i can't really articulate. but it's there! i feel it. ahahahaha.

2007-11-16T10:01:00.000+08:00

one more paper left, one more paper left, ONE MORE PAPER LEFT!

so today's been amazing. i just woke up after a night of wonderful rested sleep (finally! i was so tensed last night i dreamt i saw pontyanak at changi airport and thought in my head,' oh!short malay celebrity!' hahaha yea, go figure.she even spoke to me after.). :D people who know me, know i need my sleep. haha. sleepovers for me, are literally sleep overs. i go over/invite people over, to sleep!
TODAY i shall be going to cut my hair, (after months of letting my wild, untamable fringe get the better of me and which by now, has joined the rest of the cohort as just hair, in general) and possibly going on a HAPPY STRESSLESS shopping trip with my mum. even a body massage! if she still has that free coupon thingy her friend gave her. :D :D

and, even though last night when i got home, i was pretty tired and upset with myself in general, i guess there's no point in it. it's just going to make things worse if i torture myself with trying to "relive" the examination performance in my head (all i'm going to find is stuff i didn't write, or how i could have written it instead) , and it's going to discourage me from studying for the last sodding paper.so... BE GONE WITH IT.
and, i know for sure that this time, when i say i don't feel good about the paper, it's a DEFINITE answer. it's not a maybe i didn't do well, maybe i could have thing. it's a FO'SURE YO kind of thing. so now i'm hoping for a miracle, and praying praying praying hard i can scrape even 2 As for this. (: till march next year, (when the guys are all shaved, skinny and dark, while the girls all with dyed hair, looking rested and happy) the A levels can kill itself.

okay, moving on to another completely unrelated subject:
there was one post i said i was terrified of making a life mistake? that was when my uncle (my mum's brother) fell really sick and lived at our place for about 2 weeks to a month. i listened to his stories and saw by myself how one step in life can cost a person so much.

anyway, it goes like this -
i have this uncle, who's truly a nice, sincere, caring man. he's been going through a really tough patch financially, so it didn't help that he had to be warded twice in such a short span in time. the second time he got warded was when things became so clear to me. so anyway, this uncle had a heart attack and was warded. at the same time, my mum was in macau with my dad on a business trip. so upon hearing that, she got really upset and got me to check up on the uncle for her, and contact my grandmother etc etc. i guess it's safe to say, it completely ruined my parents' trip, because really, my uncle doesn't deserve any of this.

moreover, not only does he not deserve to be stressed out like this, he doesn't deserve a wife like that. i'm sorry, if my cousins ever read this, but i guess it doesn't matter, since my mum told me about my eldest cousin sharing the same sentiments. i know it's disrepectful, and possibly biased, being on the side of my mum and naturally my uncle, but i think everything i've seen by myself stands against her.

from what i've seen, she's irresponsible, childish and utterly selfish. first off, she never really took care of my uncle. AT ALL. he lived with us 3 weeks or so, and i only saw that she came over a few nights, for dinner, and left. it amazes me how little she cares for her own husband, and it angers me that she's taking my mother for granted. it's natural my mum wants to take care of her own brother, and her willingness to do it stems really from my mum's selflessness. anyway, this aunt took full advantage of it, and was evidently shrugging off her own responsibilities as a wife to my mum, who i am truly amazed with and whom i respect even more after this entire episode. she lied to my mother, pretending she goes to work, and can therefore, not cook for my uncle (which is crucial, since outside food's bad for his body). she still pretends to go to work now, and it's absurd, the way she justifies her reasons for not taking care of him. what makes it worse, is that she doesn't realise the magnitude of their problems. APPARENTLY she let one of my cousins buy a new colour tv and a nintendo wii. SERIOUSLY. if your father doesn't have the financial abilities to foot even his own medical bills, what can justify you buying things like that? i know maybe she earned the money from her own work, but at this point in time, shouldn't you be saving up and paying for your dad's medical bills instead? it really pisses me off because my uncle is forced to work two jobs (one running his own business and the other driving a cab), which is possibly also the root cause of his two illnesses. i mean REALLY. don't you think anyone who is sufficiently reasonable, who is just possibly humane (not even kind, i'm talking about here), will never do things like this? what's more, he's your father. even if your relationship with him isn't great, he has afterall been a responsbile father to you your entire life. he's even willing to put himself up to a life like this, just to finance, what, your incessant, extravagant and foolish behaviour? others may just decide to leave a family like this, you know. i know it's possibly stressful for them as well, to have to work and live under such financial strain, but doesn't it make the spending even more uncalled for? shouldn't you instead be focusing on pulling your family out of the ditch instead of buying what even families who are living under no such conditions may not consider spending their money on?

in my own opinion, my uncle's biggest mistake in life, is that he married someone who evidently does not love him (possibly before, but not now, not anymore). this one mistake has cost him the chance to have children who actually care for him, and i'm not even considering the factor of a wife anymore. so, like the way i respect my mum, i respect my uncle too. i really respect that he still chooses to support people like this.

if i could, i would just shout at my cousins. but because i can't, now i change my mind and hope they read this. i hope it makes them angry at me, but at least they've seen it.

oh and something really symbolic happened.
the aunt bought a salmon fish for us.
hahaha remember great ex?
penitential cod and oysters were sent to joe.
she sent a salmon to my mum. it's so ironically reflective, it's funny.

2007-11-13T21:17:00.000+08:00

time is like a speed machine!
for once i don't think i'll ever look back. this week can (pretty please) be over soon. in "can" i mean there isn't a choice in it. it can be over, will be over, shall be over, IS going to be over.
and then i will NEVER NEVER look back, mark my word.
i shall not lament about the things i never did write in my essays ( DAMN multiplier, DAMN!) after this week, and i'll be looking only forward, bringing everything forward with me (forcefully or not). so, if you wanna look for me ever, look for me in the forward.

ahhhhhh. joy. (: 15TH NOV, i can almost feeeeeel yoooouuuuu.
you make me so happy, it makes little things mean nothinggggg. (fyi, they already meant nothing. it's just, now i've got better, more things to focus on, other than studying and the air around my desk/dump of a study.)

P.S. good luck! eat your duck/chicken/ poultry. (duck's good, rhymes! :D)
"when we die, we don't take the a levels with us"
BWAHAHA.

OY! i really do not feel like studying. ):
i just stared at a page of csq, and decided i'd be better off surfing the net.
hence, i haven't done anything since the econs paper. not even sleeping! (better off sleeping, more than anything)
):
i shall go make good use of my time, and!
sleep!

2007-11-12T14:49:00.000+08:00

i can very well say goodbye to singapore two years from now.
goodbye SGP.
i guess i'm just not meant to stay in singapore. (oh wow, fatalism. duchess of malfi anyone?)

i'm gonna miss the people here, the food here, the smells, the lah lorh leh hor wor (ok not wor. HAHAHA ew) and revert to the american/australian/canadian/whatevercountrykallynngets hersorryassinto system.

i just spent 4 hours laughing at my mum's friends' jokes about men chasing them in their haydays, about how they went to london to study dance with 3000 sing dollars, and how they tricked traffic police into believing that they really (REALLY!) needed to go to the toilet, therefore saving themselves a ticket.

and i think, my hay-days are already over.
what to do?
haha.
i'm lying if i'm not upset, but i guess it's nobody's fault but mine.
but i'm not upset enough to cry. i'm just...frustrated enough to dump everything at the back of my mind for the time being.

and then pick myself up to study for econs tmr!
haha.
REALLY, OH WEEEEELL.

JUST COME ALREADY, THURSDAY, 15TH NOVEMBER. I DON'T NEED 21ST NO MORE. JUST 15TH.
i need to watch stardust, i need to watch lust,caution, and i need to go travelling. then we can talk about studying for lit AGAIN.

The world forgetting, by the world forgot.

2007-11-07T21:13:00.000+08:00

How happy is the blameless vestal's lot!
The world forgetting, by the world forgot.
Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind!
Each pray'r accepted, and each wish resign'd;

hello. today we were talking about this.
and i just felt so compelled to look for the poem. it is REALLY long, but i just really wanted to find it, so there!

it's quite absurd, the a levels, don't you think?
for now, i really want it to be over and done with.

oh and you know the talk about my backup plans and the SATs? i think it's all crap in my context. because knowing me, after the A levels, i can never get myself to do the right thing.

2007-11-02T14:10:00.000+08:00

we'll never get to see this here, but (or maybe that's why) i do love it!
hahaha. ellen degeneres. used to hate her show, but she grows on me.
her interviewing wentworth miller, yes wentworth miller, (you know, the one even mrs poon thinks is hot?) on the episode i watch on starworld today didn't do much bad to her show either.
:D
YEEEAAAANNYYWAAAY, moving on!
it's in the middle of the a levels, not feeling too good.

so after this three day break, it'll be math paper 2, followed by a 5 day break and then lit paper1, econs paper2, econs paper 1, hist paper1, FIVE day break, lit paper 2!
it feels like half the battle's been fought already though!
i can't wait for the five day break before lit paper 2. too bad history ends at 5, otherwise, i'd hitting town fo'sure.
even then, i can always make allowances for a couple of hours the next day for some play. :D

so for now,
GOOD LUCK, GOD BLESS.
("studies aren't everything. they're important, but not everything.")

2007-10-27T12:11:00.000+08:00

what about the other end?
you know, i have a story i could tell.

2007-10-25T11:58:00.000+08:00

it's a couple more days to my very first paper (gp), so this post is a very unwarranted one.

nevertheless, i just had to say-
i have the uncanny ability to land myslef in the silliest, most unexepected situations.
my classmate had an eye infection and went to school for lit lessons yesterday. thinking that he was sitting at the opposite end of the semi-circle, i was safe. but i guess not.
my eyes started turning red and hurting real bad last night, so i thought, "nooooo. this is just impossible! i didn't even TALK to him."
i ended up going to sleep real early last night, almost once i got home from econs tuition, hoping i could sleep off the sore.
but i woke up with symptoms similar to that of june-july when i had a horrid eye infection for weeks.

yea so i spent all morning seeing the doctor. closecall.

oh! i went to this doctor at toa payoh, thinking it was my first time, so i gave my particulars, my name, ic all that.
then the receptionist went in, thinking she had to write another new card.
but i guess not!
cus half-way through my consultation, she walked in with records of me when i was 2! hahaha. funny.
it was for some skin rash/chicken-pox thing. weird right.

2007-10-19T20:24:00.000+08:00

this is the one day i really think i cannot continue studying!

and i just swally-ed three pills (i left them out too long they sorta fused together)at one shot, hoping that they'd work their wonders and suddenly, kallynn's brain can wake up.
one was an omega three tablet - good for the brain (the shell around it was soft already ew.)
the other two were calcium and multi-vits - just good for the body in general

so, let's all hope they start doing their thing!

2007-10-16T20:22:00.000+08:00

after these couple of days, i'm sure i'm pretty sure i'm afraid that i'd/'ve make/de the mistake of my life, without even knowing.
it's a terrifying thing, if you think about it!

/edit.
this may not be the best time, (ok it's a terrible time)
but i realised that didn't make sense.

AH WELL. doesnt matter!
what makes sense now would be the A LEVELS.

2007-10-06T23:38:00.000+08:00

i'm an idi-ot.

2007-10-03T21:24:00.001+08:00

a levels are all about stress.
but i can never seem to really let it get hold of me and STICK, well except on monday (which i'd say, consumed me whole), which was a rare, rare exception (which i suspect does make it weird and kinda scary, to people around me). when i get stressed, i actually keep quiet and stop laughing and/or being retarded. ( i secretly think you all hope i'd get so stressed i'd keep my mouth shut RIGHT. hurhur too bad!)
my stress pattern works such that it peaks the minute my head touches my new gingko smelling, hard pillow i bought (good for the brain, ya'll! let the essence of gingko seep it's way through my scalp and skull to my brain brain brain!), therefore, making sleep one of the greatest luxuries to me these days. really, i ALWAYS freak out before i sleep. but aiyah, kallynn's still kallynn, still needs her sleep (i slept at T E N last night)! so after a period of self-consolation and reassurance (possibly from a family member, if serious), i end up slipping into bouts of fitful sleep.
and then i wake up the next morning, have my hearty breakfast, call zhaoey, sms kenny to get ready for my car to swoop by and pick him up, all in the meantime of planning, and feeling infinitely ambitious about my itinery that very day.
and so kallynn's stress pattern ensues.

(: but i'm still pretty happy!
thank you supportive, positive family and friends.
LOVE YA'LL.

Oh, High Fashion!

2007-09-30T22:28:00.000+08:00

London Fashion Week:

i know i know i know! the internet's guilty pleasure. but i was truly stuck and burnt out! so my mind wandered...and here was what i found.

desginer: Gareth Pugh
"glimmering glimmering minute supernova, how i wonder what art thou?" hahahhaa.credits to mr james ho.
Designer: Noki
i think amy winehouse will look hawt in this! anyway she already looks like a crow lives on her head , might as well invite fellow counterparts from other regions right? like swans and what not, join the par-tay! and then decide that bird flu's too much to risk (ironic, considering she might just be snotting crystal meth right now), hence the hip facemask!

desinger:Manish Arora

actually, i really like this picture! but it looks like a haphazard combination of those ikea paperweights with the springy hearts (and jelly looking bottoms) and polly the parrot dropped in a bottle of ink. tsk, animal rights!

designer:Ashley Isham.
cyclops' affair, robocop's wife and daughter of magneto.
desginer:Roksanda Illincic
sumo's girlfriend who just stayed over and had no clean clothing to wear.

2007-09-29T18:44:00.000+08:00

i'm finally feeling the heat.

FINALLY.

so for now, goodbye and goodluck all!

in about 2 months' time, we'd all be as jolly as audrey hepburn looks in that photo! (:

2007-09-23T20:17:00.000+08:00

i feel extremely uncomfortable with writing stuff about myself (positively bragging), shamelessly encasing it in an email, and sending it off to my teacher, who is probably obliged to write nice stuff about me.

it's a torment, for both ourselves and our teachers.
BUT.
i guess that's how the world ticks.

(edit)
woah.i rested for one entire week!
what happened to resting for two to three days.
hahahaha.
on thursday, i told myself, okay friday.
on friday, i told myself, okay sunday.
on sunday, i told myself, okay monday.
on monday, i told myself, okay today the period's doing bad things, TUESDAY it shall be.
and today, it shall be!

i started on an econs case study and i don't like the way i'm thinking!

2007-09-22T17:35:00.000+08:00

soooooooo.
PRELIMS ARE OVER!
in fact, i've already taken a four day break. hurhurhur.
feels pretty darn good, after that whole mugging season.

shopping with the family, eating out with frieeendddsss, swimming, getting sunburnt, packing my shiz (JUST did it, i feel accomplished! and neat!), tidying up my desk and getting ready to RE-start studying for a lvls ( what to do what to do).

i'm just glad i got to meet up with the best friends, and the fives! : D
and SORT of celebrate my brother's birthday. THOUGH we were like 2 weeks late?
nevertheless, getting back at my social life for a bit feels good. (:
for now, i'm beat from packing.

out tonight!
(:

2007-09-17T21:09:00.000+08:00

ONE LAST ONE, ONE LAST ONE, ONE LAST ONE.

kallynn poon, you'd better make the pimples worth their while.

hahahaha.
WHY am i typing this?
because!
i'm so so so so shagged after the lit paper, (which ended precisely 3 hours ago) i'm dozing off at my desk. (and THAT is a first in the life of kallynn poon kening, if my real name was really that long!)

PEACE the spork out!
i'd be painting orchard/ cityhall/ clarke quay MY hue of red tmr. :D

2007-09-14T23:03:00.000+08:00

ROAR.
really, i've been living like it's the end of prelims by the time the wednesday paper ended.

you know, i think the alevels is tough because(in addition to the ADVANCED level of learning we have to engage ourselves in), the DURATION over which this sodding paper's spread over can kill aplenty singaporean muggers. (and we're quite hard to kill you know. mugging's like, our calling. hahaha)
no wonder so many GROWN people cite the a levels like it's a milestone in their lives. (quite sad, if you think about it)

))):

sorry! just really felt the need to whine. (whining's gonna be my indulgence from now onwards. i'm trying this thing called SUCKING IT UP and growing up.really!)
hurhur.
during this point in time, i really think the only way to keep afloat would be to make a HUGE deal out of the small things in life that make people happy.
like having ice cream with friends after the third last paper. :D

hahahhaa.
seven months of unadulterated freedom and fulfillment,
seven months,seven months,seven months,seven months,seven months,seven months.
just 2 more months!

http://www.kennysia.com/archives/2005/12/reader_contribu.php
i was bloghopping about and landed in a friend's blog. it made me LAUGH like crazy (and made me feel better afterwards), so i'm hoping it lightens things up a bit for us stressed prelims do-ers!
besides, it really reminds me of the times when i just moved over to china. hahahhaaha.

2007-09-06T21:35:00.000+08:00

there was once i heard this story about this woman who got electrocuted because the wires in her bra were (overtly )good conductors of electricity.
so either lightning struck her, and her bra conducted the electricity, OR, she was plugging something in or smth.
sorry, i often get my stories wrong.

nevertheless, ouch.
can you imagine?

yesterday i watched grey's anatomy and buzzphrase of the episode:
even after you take away green lantern's lantern, he's still a hero.
:D
even after getting bad prelims results, we're still good a levels students.
hahahaha.

and i'm so glad meredith's starting to date.
i like her happy.

bye all.
cuban cigars and castro's beard calls.

2007-09-03T22:23:00.000+08:00

okay so i found out that the school library's open during the holidays afterall!
good. (:
i study best in the school library. the national library at bishan used to be okay, but the cafe's getting increasingly noisy and it really is freezing in there. i think for now, i had better be alone for a bit so i can do math or smth. and i've had enough of summer peach tea freezes for a while. i think it's screwing my body up, (but then agian, it may just be stress) and i should lay off it, i think.

anyway!
i got the specimen paper from my math tutor and now i'm officially scared.
it's like all our school papers PLUS other school papers were all set in different styles. i didn't get what the questions were getting at and i honestly have no clue how i have to work the questions out. moreover, somehow, when i do the specimen paper, i stumble more!
maybe it's because i KNOW it's the specimen paper, that's why i'm more subconsciously stressed out when i do it?
i don't know.
i hope there'll be math whizzes around school tmr. so i can get some much needed help. hur hur.

today we had the FOUR HOUR battle for econs tuition. it was insane, and i was driven nuts doing almost 4 hours worth of non-stop econs.
by the third hour, i was reaping dis economies of scale, and becoming highly productively inefficient. conversely (to my utter and ultimate dismay) i could still see that the brains of the rest of the class (exlcuding us vj people, it's the rj pple i'm referring to) were still revving at full speed.
like robots.
it works such that our tuition class isn't about clarifying doubts, seeking explanations about certain points. instead, it's about ADDING more points to the tutor's model answers. (note: some of these people here, take H3 ECONS. they obviously don't need building blocks, they know the fundamentals so well they can probably dismantle the entire econs theory thing with their bare hands) and it's not the first time that the tutor offered to stop but couldn't, because they continued to ask for MORE. ASK FOR MORE. after four hours straight of mind-numbing, head-twitching, eye-popping econs graphs and theories, they ASK FOR MORE!
amazing.
must learn from them.
that's how they produce their four as students like china producing cardboard baos.

2007-09-01T22:28:00.000+08:00

that's phoebe and my bruthaa with his favourite simpson tshirt ( he ain't heavy, cus he's my brotheerrr hahahahah) and OF COURSE, my black bagpack. :D

i fell in loooovvveee today. (:

HAHAHAH.

her name's phoebe.

it's my cousin's puppy, phoebe. and OMGOMGOMGOMG. it is sooooooooooo adorable.

for people who've known me since i was a kid, you'd know how terrified i am of dogs normally, no matter small or big ones. (especially after living in that psycho compound with equally crazy dogs for 4 years in shanghai)

but today!

phoebe changed my world. NO KIDDING!

amazing fact #1:

i didn't lock myself up in my room to get away from dogs

amazing fact #2

i TOUCHED a dog

amazing fact #3

i CARRIED! a dog

amazing fact #4

i touched a dog's !FACE!

amazing fact #5

i let a dog rest on my !!LAP!!

amazing fact #6

i'm SERIOUSLY considering getting a puppy like phoebe! (even my mom fell in love with her, she proposed sharing "joint custody" over her with my cousin. hahahahaha wth.)

haha okay byebye!

i'm a happy girlllll.

study hard ya'll!

TWO MONTHS' TIME AND WE'LL BE AS FREE (or free-er actually) AS LINCOLN BURROWS AND MICHAEL SCOFIELD BREAKING OUT OF PRISON. :D

2007-08-29T21:03:00.000+08:00

so today we found out that the fat indian neighbour living on the fourth floor has been the one peeing outside the drain at my doorstep.

no wonder it always smelled funky. (we always thought it was that horny fat grey cat that seems to like my family's company)

YUCK.

tati saw him, and i think she screamed (hahaha so cute). that had better teach him a lesson. sick dude. the other time our laundry hanging outside my back door obstructed a little of his walking space, he used the f word on my mom.
wth right?
he's so gross.
if i ever do see him right, i'll SCREAM, and then RUN to the guard post and get him to stop. really reminds me of the bad incident i had at toa payoh central in sec 3. hurhurhur.
except now, i'm less innocent, and more stressed out. therefore, more violent.

2007-08-24T20:57:00.000+08:00

i keep forgetting gp's in a few days time!
aiyoh.

mom and pops just got back this evening.
just when they were walking out of the arrival hall, i had this GREAT urge to use the toilet. so i just waved to them and disappeared into one of the toilets nearby. i could feel my mom's eyes tailing me as i walked back towards them and i saw her whispering to my dad.
so i thought, "aiyah. sure got something happen"
when i got there, i INSISTED she told me what she was saying and my dad told me that my mum was suspecting that the guy (some guy) walking behind me was my BOYFRIEND!
hahaha
and that i had to rush off to hide my !boyfriend! before they came out.
of course she was being stupid and faking this paranoia thing (cus i honestly think she doesn't care if i do have one?) but please!
i'm insulted she thinks i'm thattt stupid.
like hide my boyfriend?
hahahahahaha.
hide my boyfriend in the toilet?
hide my boyfriend when i know full well the entire arrival hall's surrounded in glass and therefore she has got a full, 360 degrees paranomic view of her daughter, me?
and that guy behind me?which guy?! there were a lot of people around there then. in which of the guys, did she see a possibility in? tell me! seriously!
and why hide my boyfriend? she still thinks i'm scared of her! delusional.
hahahahahhaa.
that's my mom for you.
explains a lot of me, don't you think?
:D:D

2007-08-20T21:32:00.001+08:00

i should be studying but i have a really bad headache, therefore i'm gonna let myself off the hook.
this headache's been pretty persistent all day long, even after panadol.
):

i'm gonna sleep early tonight. i think it's stress/ pre-menstrual headache, which i ALWAYS get.

speaking of pre-menstrual, today i walked into gp (after visiting the toilet) and got thrown a question about the menstrual cycle (because i was late). my gp tutor claims he was perturbed by the the fact that many people (even girls) do not know what or how the menstrual cycle actually works. it was really really puzzling considering i was just thinking about MY own cycle when i suddenly got thrown that question the minute i apologised for being late. but in the end i just sat down after diverting the question to people who used to take bio. hur hur.

what was funny was that he said this whole issue originated from one gp remedial session with another class, when one guy referred to the woman's vagina (sorry if it's a little too blunt) as the "vajayjay", instead of using the technical term, perhaps because of his idea of it as a taboo or something. my gp tutor then went onto more serious (half actually) matters about how in many religions women having their periods are considered "dirty" and all that, nothing really new i guess. HAHAHAHAHA. but back to the issue about that funny boy, people who watch grey's anatomy would KNOW why it was so hilarious. i can't believe he used a term from that show. hahahaha.
and then later on, it so happens that mr young asked us something along the lines of " is it possible to define something something something?" (sorry i wasn't listening to that part)
and jieshi replied, "YOU CAN'T."
to which my tutor (perhaps slightly over zealous in his response), replied/questioned, " YOU CAN'T!" and pointed/gestured at her lah.
so lynette, sitting on my other side, just stared, kind of shocked, until she burst out laughing cus for a second, she thought he was calling jieshi a cunt. HAHAHA.

hahaha
yea hokay i've made my point.
gp lessons can be rather interesting.
now i'm off to rest my headache off. (:

2007-08-18T22:05:00.000+08:00

harrowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww worrrrrrrrllllllddddddddddddddd.
today vas a yappy dayyyyyyy.

:DDD

studieddddddd finallyyyyyyyy. hahahaha sorry about this.
went off to the library in the morning, since i decided staying home would just make things worse. jieshi and lynette ended up joining me in the afternoon. together, lynett'e FUGLEH pink-purple-red flower on her mkt structure notes and jieshi's GAG-WORTHY watermelon longan drink totally grossed me out. i was having a tremendous headache. so i made lynette DESTROY her HIDEOUS flower and the next thing i'm gonna do is to ensure she'd NEVER try to be bimbotic again. doesn't work for me! hahaha
oh and after that we saw jonathan and his friends there too. kinda strange, cus by the time they came, the library was closing!oh but we found out that the guys DO think that jieshi and lynette are scary. haha!
i was so happy that when these two bak-kwa eating, miniscule-bag-carrying, super-dyed-hair-2o-smth girls came and started laughing at me, it didn't even bother me. i was just weirded out, i guessed they were laughing at me digging at my bagpack, as well as my outfit cus i was just wearing a jacket and some school based tee plus shorts. so i assumed i looked rather young. but very funny meh? i don't think it warrants such big reactions, which they dont even bother being discrete about. they laughed till they dropped their bakkwa( hahahaha) and moved on to some strawberry wafer. so i was like, whatever, laugh, i'm not even offended. later when the bus came, one of them almost walked into me too and said something in hokkien to her friend (okaaayyy. don't need to know what. but whatever as well!).
when i was getting off, i realised they were ALSO staring. weirdos. never see people carrying bagpack before. so i just shot them a "you guys are weird" look and hopped off the bus (: hahahaha.
and i'm very sure nothing else was amiss.
i checked my hair, made sure my shorts weren't riding up, saw that i didn't draw on my face accidentally and nothing was exposed.
so must be the whole bagpack little kid look. but don't care! i'm an a levels student. i shouldnt be so prissy about the way i look just yet. and i think backpack's are the BOMB.

so, carry a backpack, everyone!

2007-08-17T18:07:00.000+08:00

well so i tired downloading some weird system to repair my perpetually muted computer, and all i got was a whole load of syntax and deep computer gibberish.

AH NEVERMIIIINNDDDDDDDD,

if ANYONE, anyone AT ALL! knows WHY my computer's like that ( it crashed, and i got it repaired, but when it returned it had no sound. i tried plugging, replugging my sound device by the computer doesn't detect it) PLEASE DO SAVE ME from the agony of this muted heap of metal!

much appreciated. (:

/edit.
aiyoh.
i'm having a crash down/break down day.
can't study, can't focus, can't sit still.
DARN.

so i called my momma and she told me she'd be coming back next friday, YAY!
and as ususal, told me to have some ji jing.
but it's NOT that i'm tired, it's just that i REJECT the prospect of facing my work. i'm just beat lah huh. (oh my i'm contradicting myself)
ay!jieshi tells me i'm looking more and more stressed up each day. if that's the case, why ain't i studying?
i think i'm probably burnt out (sad, even before i started anything) that's why.

2007-08-16T20:20:00.001+08:00

today's good day in school ended on a bad note after the horrid, horrid, HORRID math remedial we had on planes.
i had absolutely NO idea how to do planes and every possible formula that coule have been forgotten, was forgotten. in other words, i was struggling with the most basic of concepts for that topic!
anyhow, i was feeling all stressed out and fidgety so i decided it was best for me to just leave, before i start doing a matthew pocket (hahahaha. got this from the lit teachers).
what was initially to be a trip home, ended up (with much reluctance on my part) as a trip to the boon keng study room with my friends.
i guess i managed to finish some work there, and eat a whole lot of that colourful icing on top of biscuit thing.
still, i was not happy, cus you know, when i set my mind on something and i go the other way, i ALWAYS feel like i'm missing out. so in this case, i felt sore about missing out on the comfort of my home and television. obviously, i compensated for that and left at 6, feeling very grouchy and stressed out.
then something really wonderful happened!
when i was just feeling the worst, i saw this rainbow from the window!
hahahahahaha.
normally i don't really believe in signs and stuff, but i choose to interprete this as a sign for me to cheer up! really, what better symbol to perk a stressed out and tired a levels student than a pretty rainbow right in front of her? haha, i know i know, it's INCREDIBLY cheesey, and some hard-core cynics may even think further otherwise, (like kallynn's such a poor poop desperate for some light in her life lalalalhohoho.) i was truly happy when i saw it! hahahahaha.
and true enough, my day (night actually) picked up right after!
:D
so much for my complaints about cheesey-ness.
i'm so hopeless, but pretty happy.
HAHAHAHHAA.
yea, go on, laugh!

2007-08-14T22:47:00.000+08:00

i'm so tired.

i think econs tuition sucks!

it's too late for my productivity levels. by the time it hits 8, i'm like, "okay bye all!"

and i think, correction, KNOW that the tutor knows i'm nodding but i know NOTHING.

hahahaha. horrible.

i should quit tuition. so unproductive. and so now you know, when i say i switch off at 9, i'm not exaggerating. because the tuition-mates can ratify that.

haiyah, study, everyone, study..